30 People Share Bits Of Marriage Advice That Sounded Absurd When They Heard Them, But Now Realize They Were Good

"Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink"

Damjan

• Published in Funny
• June 30, 2022

That lovely "happily ever after" sure sounds great, doesn't it? But how often does it happen in real life?

It is great when you feel as though you are living in a James Blunt music video, when you have butterflies in your stomach, and when love is in the air. But things change, and there is no guarantee that what you are feeling now will last till you die.

In fact, it is almost guaranteed that it won't. And it is okay - it is just the way things are.

When you get married, the butterflies in your stomach are replaced by something much more profound - dedication, devotion, trust, and support. In short, everything that makes a partner. Love doesn't fade -it actually becomes much stronger, but on a higher level.

Marriage requires cooperation, dedication, and a lot of conformity, unlike falling in love. Even more, perhaps, than you were prepared to offer while you were dating.

Hey, it's challenging, but it's worthwhile. This Ask Men subreddit thread demonstrates that.

Someone asked, "What odd marital advice sounded ludicrous but was actually spot-on helpful?" and it started a discussion about the difficult but incredibly rewarding game of marriage that is life.

1. Be kind when you don't feel like it

Dad said “Be kind even if you’re not feeling it. Maybe *especially* if you’re not feeling it.”

2. It is not all about sex

Most of the time you spend together is going to be non-sexual, so the most important thing is to be best friends. Otherwise, it won't last.

3. Forget potential

Marry him for who he is. Not his potential.

4. Point of arguing

The point of arguing is not to win. It's to understand where they’re coming from and why this issue matters to them.

5. Separate beds and rooms

It's totally OK to sleep in separate beds...or even separate rooms if that's what works for you. I am not going to be a good partner if I only get four hours of sleep because I was listening to him snore all night, or if jobs require different sleeping schedules and you take a while to get to sleep

6. Honesty

Be honest. Don't lie to your partner.

7. Clean up

Clean up after yourself for God's sake.

jevole

8. Separate blankets

Have separate duvets or blankets on the same bed. I can wrap myself up nice and snug, and she can move around all night without bothering me.

9. Sleep can give you a new perspective

It's ok to go to bed angry. We've always been told not to go to bed angry but sometimes a night of sleep can change your perspective and help with resolution.

10. Two against the problem

On our wedding day, my father-in-law said, 'Always remember it's the two of you against the problem, not you two against one another.' It's been great advice, especially when we disagree.

Focusing on this piece of advice has calmed a lot of arguments over the years.

11. Dirty dishes

My grandfather told me " Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink" . What I learned is that he would always help my grandma and that is when they did their most talking.

12. Hobbies

Looks fade, marry someone who you enjoy talking to. -grandma

I also feel strongly about this one. Find someone who is ok with you both having separate hobbies.

My wife does her thing and I have my hobby. We share some hobbies, but we are ok with spending time apart too.

We don't have to always do them together. I couldn't imagine marrying a woman who needed to do every single thing I did just to be around me.

She needs to have her own life and I love not forcing her into the nerdy stuff I enjoy.

13. What is normal?

'Don’t worry about what other people think is 'normal.' I’ve been married for almost 20 years, and this piece of insight has made all the difference.

You don't need to conform to society’s standards. Do what works for you and your partner in a marriage.

14. Sacrifices

'Never ask your partner to make a sacrifice for you that you wouldn’t make for them if the roles were reversed.

15. Change the first diaper

When our kid was about to be born, someone told me to change the first diaper. "If you can handle the first one, the others will be easy."

So I did. I didn't know what I was doing, so I asked the nurse at the hospital to teach me, and I changed the first several few diapers while my wife recovered from a difficult labor.

The advice was correct, no other diaper was as disgusting as the first one. It got very easy and I never minded doing it, and my wife was really really grateful.

And I loved that I could take on some of the parenting chores, since there was so much that she was the only one... equipped to provide.

16. Have fun even when grocery shopping

The advice I’ve given people is this: if you can go grocery shopping with your person and have the best time ever, you have yourself a keeper. It’s all about making the best of the mundane things, because after years of being together, life becomes predictable.

You’ll need to keep the spice going, regardless of what you’re doing.

Source: married 15 years.

17. "Just because" flowers

My fiance always says that "just because" flowers are the best kind of flowers.

18. Happy spouse, happy house

A meme when I was first getting married was, "Happy wife, happy life". Which has some degree of accuracy.

But much later, I learned the better version, which I should have been more considerate of: "Happy Spouse, Happy House"

19. King-size bed

My father always said that the best thing he and my mother did for their marriage was get a king-sized bed. I always thought it was ridiculous advice until recently, when my wife and I needed a new bed.

We spent the extra money on a king, and I'll be damned if that wasn't one of the best decisions we have made. The extra room is amazing: We can snuggle or have some space, and when our kids try and get in bed, there's enough room that no one is getting a foot to the face.

20. Effort

'The grass is greener when you water it.' This one always stuck with me.

Your relationship is what you make of it, and it will be happier if you put love and effort into it.

21. Intimacy

Intimacy isn’t about sex.

jennej1289

22. Two pizzas

One of my colonels told me: “just buy two damn pizzas, instead of arguing over the toppings.”

mgoblue702

23. Mom is always right

Moma said "don't come whinning to me about your wife, go talk to her"....and don't spend your time complaining to ANY one about your SO. If you need advice, ask, but no talking down about your SO, chances are they have a long list of complaints too.

Aware-Rock5769

24. Separate activities

Retain your individuality and have separate hobbies even after you're married. Have time apart.

Have separate activities. This will allow you to have experiences you can talk about and share with each other.

It will give you time apart so you don't feel smothered.

AlphaTangoFoxtrt

25. It's the little things we will miss

My step mom just passed away, and dad said something that has profoundly changed my attitude:

>"The little things that annoyed me are the things I now miss"

So, like, yea... for some reason she squeezes a massive glob of toothpaste which mostly falls into the sink basin and she doesn't wash away the toothpaste spit... f*****g annoys me.

*If/when she's gone, that little constant annoyance that reminds me she's there will be gone too.*

Don't nag on the little things, rather, embrace them. (still, let her know ... she has made progress on other things I've pointed out, as I try to adapt to her wishes).

26. Eat

When an argument is brewing stop and eat something, you may just be hungry.

27. Family

You don't just marry her, you marry her whole damn family.

28. Emotions change

Love isn’t about having “nice feelings for each other.” It’s about acting for the betterment of someone else, even if you don’t feel like it.

Emotions will change. Your willingness to treat your spouse a certain way doesn’t have to.

sirplaid

29. Sleeping apart brings you closer

My husband snores really loud. I started sleeping separately and we have a much better relationship now.

Probably because I'm not constantly sleep deprived. We both fought it so hard for so long because there is this idea that only unhappy couples sleep apart from each other.

The truth is, you've got to do what works for the both of you and not worry about preconceived notions about intimacy, etc.

30. Make sure you get what you want

Grandma said "love is like coffee. Sometimes it's hot, sometimes it's cold, sometimes it's sweet, sometimes it's bitter.

No matter how you like it, it is good. But it's only great when you get it 'the way you like it'.

Make sure you get what you want".

So, did you write everything down? Some of these tips sound strange, but they help.

Marriage takes work, and the same goes for everything important in life. If you are willing to work hard on your education and career, why not devote the same amount of effort to your marriage and your family?

Think about that…

Damjan