Husband's Insensitivity To Wife's Dog-Related Trauma Creates Strain During Family Visit

She was being dramatic because the dog was in a muzzle so he'd be able to do nothing to her

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• November 9, 2023

In a recent Reddit post, a 26-year-old man found himself questioning his actions and their impact on his wife's emotional well-being. The story revolves around a visit to his sister's place, where his wife's fear of dogs comes to the forefront, leading to a tense situation.

The husband, OP of the story, shared that his wife has been afraid of dogs since witnessing her brother get bitten at the tender age of 6. This traumatic incident left a lasting imprint on her psyche, leading to a deeply ingrained fear of these animals.

During their visit, OP's wife was confronted with her fear when they encountered a dog owned by OP's sister's boyfriend. Initially, she hesitated to enter the premises, but she was reassured by her boyfriend that the dog was muzzled and would pose no threat. She tentatively agreed to come inside.

However, the situation took a turn when OP expressed a desire to pet the dog and encouraged her to do the same. Despite the dog being in a muzzle and the OP's assurance, she refused, likely due to her fear still lurking in the back of her mind.

It's at this point in the story that OP begins to question his actions. He admitted that he may have been inconsiderate when he told his wife that she was being "dramatic" and that her past traumatic experience should no longer affect her. This comment led to a complete shutdown in her communication for the remainder of the visit, and it was clear that she was deeply upset.

OP and his wife visited OP's sister, there was her boyfriend with his dog, but OP's wife is scared of dogs due to a childhood incident.

OP's wife refused to pet the dog, and when she refused a second time, OP called her dramatic and suggested her fear was unfounded.

Trauma isn't rational, so expecting her to respond rationally to her fear of dogs is unreasonable.

Her fear of dogs is not about bites; it's a deep-seated phobia triggered by their presence.

If she doesn't want to pet the dog, OP needs to respect her choice

OP is wrong for pressuring her into something she doesn't want to do.

OP can't dictate what's "safe" for someone with a fear of dogs.

Pushing her to pet it was insensitive and crossed the line.

OP needs to show some empathy and understanding.

OP is a major culprit.

Disregarding her feelings and trauma, pressuring her into something she's clearly uncomfortable with, and doing all of this in front of others is terrible.

OP is guilty of disregarding her genuine fear of dogs and not respecting her boundaries.

It's important to consider your wife's feelings and past trauma. While OP may have had good intentions, it's not fair to dismiss her fear of dogs as being "dramatic" or to minimize the impact of her experience.

Traumatic events can have a lasting effect on individuals, and it's essential to be understanding and supportive. OP should apologize to his wife for his insensitive comments and acknowledge her feelings.

They need to have open and empathetic communication. OP can explain that he didn't fully understand the depth of her fear and that he is sorry for making her uncomfortable.

Damjan