Redditor Kicked Out Her Husband's Family From Their Wedding For Violating The Agreed Rules And Imposing Their Tradition

"We immediately kicked them out and allowed the 3 people who followed the rules to stay"

Filip

• Published in Weird
• July 6, 2023

Weddings are joyful events that celebrate the union of two individuals in love and often showcase a wide array of cultural and traditional practices. Each culture and community has its own unique wedding traditions, which can vary greatly from one another.

These traditions can include rituals, attire, ceremonies, decorations, and even specific roles for family members and guests. But if a couple has different traditions, the best option for both of them is to mix them and make a compromise.

The OP, a 27-year-old woman, and her husband Ben, 30, planned a wedding for New Year's Day since it was a meaningful date for the couple. But issues arose from Ben's family's unique traditions.

Ben's family typically excludes spouses and plus-ones from gatherings, creating a distant relationship for them, including the OP. These customs included a homemade sheet cake, all-white attire, and involving all children in the procession rather than having a designated flower girl or boy.

Despite the OP's compromises, allowing input on the cake, a flexible dress code, and a child-free event, Ben's family ignored the agreed-upon rules. Most of them wore white and brought children, except for three spouses of Ben's siblings.

Embarrassed, the OP and her husband asked them to leave, disrupting the wedding atmosphere. The post-wedding celebration was also canceled after some of Ben's family members sneaked in.

Upon their return from the honeymoon, they faced criticism and were banished by Ben's family. So, the OP wonders if she is to blame for not accommodating their traditions, feeling guilty about the situation.

The OP asks:

The OP described their wedding as an 'absolute mess':

She said she always had a distant relationship with her husband's family:

They planned a wedding for New Year's Day, and everyone agreed on it:

But due to Ben's family's weird tradition, they had some other issues which they managed by compromising:

Ultimately, every one of them was satisfied with the agreed rules:

But on the wedding day, Ben's family disregarded the agreed rules, and the OP and her husband told them to leave their wedding:

So, the OP wonders if she should have let them practice their tradition:

"When people tell you who they are, believe them."

It would be the worst mistake

That's a likely scenario

The OP explained:

Basically a cult

"Your DH needs therapy with a therapist who specializes in family trauma"

Redditors told the OP she should not feel guilty or responsible for the situation that unfolded during her wedding. Despite making compromises and attempting to create a memorable day for both herself and her husband, Ben's family chose to disregard the agreed-upon rules.

Weddings are about the union of two individuals and should reflect their desires and compromises. Families need to respect and support the couple's decisions rather than imposing their own traditions and disregarding their wishes.

The OP and her husband made a reasonable effort to find a middle ground, but it just didn't work.

Filip