Redditors In Shock As Woman Plans Her Ailing Mom's Funeral While Alive And Doesn't Want Her Cousin To Attend

"I know this sounds incredibly petty, but it's not."

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• June 18, 2024

For a family, a funeral can reveal difficult issues at a very sensitive and emotional moment. Family disputes should not, however, take precedence over paying respect to the deceased person's life.

Some families decide to set limits on who is allowed and is not allowed to attend the funeral in order to ensure that it is a time for grieving rather than the beginning of a huge argument. Limiting the number of people who are allowed to attend the funeral may cause some hurt, but it also helps avoid dramatic events that could turn the funeral into a stressful occasion rather than a celebration of the life of the deceased.

Restricting the number of attendees at a funeral can also help a family save a substantial sum of money. If a family member who you are angry with gets in touch with you, it's best to let them know that although you would love to have them come, you are worried that it would cause conflict during the funeral.

For the OP of today's story, she didn't want her cousin around during her mom's funeral. But the problem here is that OP's mom is not even dead yet; she's not just in the best of health.

As kids, the OP and her cousin Melanie lived next door to each other in a very rural area, and they did everything together. But it's a different story now that they are adults, and you can get the full gist below.

The headline

And the story kicks off...

Melanie decided that life was too short

It's going to be a deeply emotional time for the OP

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I am planning on banning my cousin from my mom's funeral. 2) Would I be the AH and be seen as further "stirring the pot?" for banning her rather than making an honest effort to extend the olive branch.

And the comments roll in...

They may not be close anymore

Unless she's trying to ruin you

The OP seems vengeful

As left by the OP in the comments...

She does not owe me a thing, in reality. The situation with the check was a little over 30 years ago, the reconciliation was a few laters later, and then the rebound to shutting me out again, was about 15ish years ago, so it's been a while.

I believe I have actually decided to be the bigger person and just not give her free rent anymore, as you said. That's probably the best, and healthiest thing, that I can do for any of us.

She cares for the OP's mom

OP's judgment is flawed

They need to grieve

It's not an invitation-only thing

Redditors were shocked that the OP was thinking of using her mother's funeral to exact revenge on her cousin because they are upset with each other. The OP is the one who caused the issue and things passed on after her cousin eventually forgave her, and now they're back at square one.

At all these gatherings, OP's the one who is paying attention to her as she could have talked to other people who were present. Eventually, she was declared the AH.

Maryjane