Young Woman Sets Condition For Mom To Move In, She Should Start Divorce Process First

"I told her, I’d be okay with that if she starts the process of separation/divorce and talks with a lawyer."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• January 24, 2024

Life sometimes forces us to make tough choices that involve our family, our independence, and our relationships. A 27-year-old woman shared such a situation on Reddit.

OP, who shares this story, and her boyfriend are planning to move to a new place soon. During this time, her mother, unhappy in her marriage, wants to leave her husband and live with them.

OP knows her parents have had problems for a long time. Her mom is unhappy with her emotionally distant dad. OP faces a difficult decision.

She tells her mother she can move in, but only if she starts divorce or separation proceedings and deals with their shared property. She does this because she's worried about affording a bigger place and doesn't want to be left in trouble if her mom goes back to her dad.

But this practical approach leads to an unexpected outcome. Her mom, maybe feeling upset, starts to ignore her.

This leaves OP doubting herself and wondering if she was wrong to set conditions for her mom to move in. OP asks for advice and viewpoints, questioning if she's being a bad daughter for not just agreeing to her mom's request. She's wondering if she's the bad one in the situation.

OP and her boyfriend plan to move soon and her mom has never had a good relationship with OP's dad.

She wants to move in with OP, but OP told her that she can only if she begins the separation/divorce process and consults a lawyer.

OP explained that her mother invested a lot in the house and deserves her share, additionally, OP can't afford a two-bedroom place if she reconciles with her husband.

OP's mom now ignoring her and OP is unsure if she made the right decision in not immediately agreeing to have her mom move in with them.

This is a common pattern where someone complains about their life but doesn't take action to improve it.

If she's not committed to divorce, OP shouldn't commit to paying for her housing.

OP's mother needs to seek professional marriage counseling rather than constantly discussing her marriage problems with OP.

OP's mom is trying to make OP responsible for her financial and emotional well-being, which isn't right.

People stay married for various reasons, and it's essential to be prepared in case circumstances change.

Mother moving in with OP and her boyfriend might lead to unnecessary drama.

OP shouldn't be a test for her mom's semi-independent living.

OP isn't at fault.

OP's mom should get help from a counselor for her marriage problems instead of always talking to OP about it. It's not right for her mom to expect OP to pay for her and take care of her emotions.

People stay married for many different reasons, and things can change. If OP's mom moves in, it might cause unnecessary problems.

OP shouldn't be a test for her mom's independence, and OP is not doing anything wrong by setting some rules. They both need to talk and find a solution that works for everyone.

Damjan