Score-Keeping Husband Refuses To Help Wife With Dinner Because It Would Unbalance Their 50/50 Chores Split

"The cooking is up to you as we agreed on"

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• October 29, 2023

Is grocery shopping easier or harder than dishwashing? Is a load of laundry equivalent to two garbage pickups?

Should those who sanitize restrooms be exempt from ever having to remember which bills need to be paid? For years, these and other questions concerning household chore allocation have been the source of marital arguments.

When both partners genuinely take on 50% of the chores, life is fair to them, and they both feel quite good about themselves. Both parents take on the tasks, learn to master each one, and value everyone's efforts.

In your own house, equitable sharing also places you on an equal footing, which creates the ideal environment for closeness. It is common for couples who are close psychologically and emotionally to also be close sexually.

Ultimately, you are sleeping beside the person who does everything with you at home and is well-versed in its workings. How fantastic is that? More than enough to set the mood for you, right?

Well, when you and your partner divide up household responsibilities equally, neither of you can use the other as an excuse for being incompetent. This is one reason why equal sharing only functions perfectly when both parents are prepared for it.

The OP got into an argument with his wife because of dinner even though house chores was shared between them equally. OP's wife is in charge of cooking most of the week, still she wanted the OP to cook but he refused.

Read the entire story for yourself below.

The OP asks

The story kicks off

There's instructions on the packaging

It's a valid way to be

It's not my job

It's called taking advantage

OP's a score keeper

The OP added an edit saying:

The workload is already in her favor, which I’m fine with. I stated we attempt to do a 50/50, but I do a lot more around the house. We used to alternate cleaning the house every week, but she only did it when she felt like it, so that meant not doing it for three weeks at times.

I expressed my grievances and we ended up getting some help to clean the house once a week. Also when she’s ill or has an emergency I pick up the slack no problem. That’s outside of her control. She has to go to the office and wants me to cook while I WFH? No problem.

On your period? I’ll take care of the household and her, no problem. But in this instance it ticked me off because there was absolutely no other reason for her not to do it outside of laziness. And I am already doing a lot more all together.

And the comments continues...

Raising a grievance

This subreddit is sexist

Communicating with each other

The verdict would be different

In this case it appears that OP's wife was slacking without cause and expecting OP to complete her responsibilities for her but still, compromise is necessary. Some Redditors completely agree that their approach needs greater flexibility because it is now far too inflexible and will only cause additional issues.

It also appears like the OP's wife was abusing the circumstances but still, the OP was declared the AH.

Maryjane