Redditor Hires Female Friend To Wash His Car And Wonders Why His Wife Is Angry

"A friend of mine is going through some financial problems."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• May 6, 2023

Helping a friend in need is commendable and shows a great sense of empathy and kindness. However, it's essential to be mindful of how it may impact your family, particularly your spouse or partner.

When making decisions that involve bringing someone regularly into your home or taking on responsibilities that impact your family, it's important to consider how your actions may affect your partner's feelings. We have one of those stories today.

OP has a friend who is going through some financial problems. They talked about ways to bring in extra income, and OP suggested that his friend wash and detail cars since he used to do it back in college.

His friend is now learning to detail, but as of now, she's just doing a basic wash and vacuum. She has become a regular, and she comes to OP's place to wash his car every two weeks.

OP's wife hasn't said anything until recently. She insisted that OP should've gotten her opinion and told her about it before deciding it to be a regular thing.

OP, on the other hand, thinks that something so simple doesn't need her input and he's just helping a friend who needs help. However, the cost is not insignificant, neither is the fact that she is coming over when his wife is not at home.

Read the full story below:

OP asks:

OP has a friend who is going through some financial problems. They talked about ways to bring in extra income, and OP suggested that his friend wash and detail cars since he used to do it back in college. However, his wife doesn't like it.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

More info needed:

Wife should be involved if they share finances

These comments do make us wonder...

What matters is that his wife is uncomfortable with a situation

OP is prioritizing the comfort of another female over hers

This Redditor says:

"This is not a simple expenditure question."

It does sound pricey

OP should get his priorities straight

"It makes a big difference whether you're paying her $30 or $60 or $120 for the service."

The bottom line is:

While it's understandable that OP's wife may want to be involved in decisions that impact their household, in this case, OP is helping a friend who is going through financial struggles.

It's important to support friends in times of need, and helping them earn extra income is a positive way to do so. At the same time, it's important for OP to communicate with his wife and to make sure that she understands the situation and the reason behind his actions.

Perhaps finding a compromise where they can all agree on the frequency or time of the car washes could be a solution. Ultimately, as long as OP is being respectful and considerate of his wife's feelings, he is not the asshole for helping his friend.

But, is he considerate?

Damjan