Mom Gets Uninvited From Daughter's Wedding After Refusing To Contribute To Her $40,000 Budget Because She Beleives Cheap Weddings Result In Better Marriages

"She's entitled to come up with the money."

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• May 16, 2023

"It's what the bride wants" is the excuse used to explain away every unreasonable demand for a wedding. It's as if a veil, a wedding dress, and a party are acceptable reasons to treat friends & loved ones like they are pawns for mere amusement.

A mom went on Reddit to talk about her daughter's upcoming expensive nuptials. They were having a family dinner/wedding planning night when the budget for the wedding was brought up.

OP's daughter asked everyone, aunts and uncles included, to contribute to her wedding's overall expenses. Her ideal budget is $40,000.

Everyone was astounded. OP's sister stood up without a word and left when she heard the amount.

OP calmly told her daughter what she learned in her years as a professional photographer. The rule was: the more expensive the wedding is, the less likely a marriage will last.

OP had countless encounters with bridezillas who asked for the moon only to demand a divorce a year or two later. Some couples get an annulment before their photographs are developed.

It was a curse, and OP implored her daughter not to fall into the bridezilla trap. She advocated for a small and affordable wedding.

She advised her daughter to focus on having a great time with her husband-to-be. Create great memories instead of going broke.

OP's wise suggestions were not taken kindly

Her daughter called her heartless and unsupportive

Their family is divided on what OP said. The sister who left said it was ridiculous to be asked to pay that much while OP's brother said he will find a way to get the money if that's what the bride wanted.

OP is torn after seeing her daughter in pain because of what she said

How many people are supposed to divvy up the $40,000 wedding bill?

The aunt who walked away wordlessly is a whole mood

Commenters admonished OP for baselessly concluding that expensive weddings result to short marriages when the issue really was the expectation of handing out unreasonable amounts of money

Her daughter was rightfully hurt by OP's assumption that her marriage will not work. However, asking your parents, aunts, and uncles to subsidize a wedding you cannot afford is not acceptable.

The people who go all out with their weddings usually know that they have the money to fund it.

Redditors cited sources that showed the correlation between extravagant weddings and failed marriages

We are unsure if the research is peer-reviewed but the statistics exist

Of course her daughter felt that OP was unsupportive. Who won't feel hurt when your own parent foretells the doom of your impending nuptials?

The way OP phrased it made it seem like an attack. Her concerns while valid, were poorly worded.

Anything short of footing the entire bill would have gone unappreciated by OP's daughter if she is dead-set on having the wedding of her dreams

Demanding that people pay for your very expensive wedding is a mind-boggling ask for anyone

In some cultures, pitching in for a family member's wedding is nothing unusual

However, even traditions deserve to be questioned when they can cost an arm and a leg

This could just be a case of expectations vs reality. Champagne taste on a beer budget as others would say.

OP and her sister are uninvited from the wedding. She only hopes that her daughter makes sound financial decisions when it comes to this wedding.

Seeing the cited research supported OP's anecdotal belief that expensive weddings unlikely result to successful marriages, but she plans to keep her opinions to herself in the future

You cannot reverse-engineer a wedding. It is not advisable to plan a grand wedding and then find the money to fund it.

OP has to work hard to earn her daughter's trust back. There were several ways she could have phrased her concern about the money or she could have followed her sister's approach and just left.

Chelsi