Fiancé Walks Out On Her Boyfriend While He Was Healing From Surgery After He Wouldn't Stop Comparing Her To His Mother

"You should have called my mom before leaving me!" - this mama's boy probably

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• April 29, 2022

Parents play a special role during the formative years of their children's lives. They form the foundation and serve as examples of how we will perceive relationships and establish boundaries in our future.

The way you were raised creates a significant impact even when you are an independent and self-sufficient adult. This can't be made any clearer in this frustrated fiancé's dilemma.

Looking for some clarity, a woman took to Reddit to share her problems. OP's (original poster) fiancé recently had open-heart surgery and, together with his mom, OP took care of him.

On top of the stress of making sure his recovery goes without any complications, OP had to deal with another issue. She and his mom do not always see eye to eye right from the very beginning of the couple's relationship.

His fiancé's mom has always tried to outshine whatever OP did. She told OP that she can't break their mother-son bond because she is the first woman in his life as she birthed and raised him.

She used to let her boyfriend's mom list all the ways she was better than OP but she eventually learned to stand up for herself. When OP started speaking, her boyfriend supported her and established stricter boundaries with his mom causing her to behave better towards OP.

Now that the boyfriend is home from the hospital, OP has been taking care of him 24/7.

She's not complaining about this since she loves him a lot. Sadly, OP's efforts seem to go unnoticed because her boyfriend has been complaining about everything since they've gone home.

He tells OP that his mom did this thing or the other so much better than OP and why can't she do things the way his mom does. He also plays mind games with her when he compliments the food she cooks for him but, sadly, they are not as delicious as his mother's food.

Hearing words like that on a daily basis, of course, chips away at OP's self-worth. Despite caring for him full-time, he also keeps telling OP how he wishes his mom was there instead because she wouldn't be as useless as OP.

OP has been incredibly patient with him even after hearing those words but he said something that just made her finally put a stop to the abuse. OP's boyfriend said his mom was right to say that OP will never measure up and replace her as the main woman in his life.

To drive the knife in deeper, he says he now regrets distancing himself from his mom when he should have set tougher boundaries on OP instead. Hearing that was the last straw that made OP pack her bags and leave.

She is now staying with her cousin while her ex wouldn't stop calling her just to say she was an a**hole for leaving him during his recovery. He also said OP should have called his mother before she left so he would have someone to look after him.

OP replied that he should do that himself because it's not her concern anymore. Her parents also think that she was wrong for leaving him alone and should have called his mom before abandoning him.

Was OP wrong for leaving her recovering boyfriend after enduring verbal insults? Read her full post below:

"He called and said I'm an AH"

He should just live with his mom since he likes her so much better than OP

Apparently, once his mom started doting on him, he wanted OP to do the same (as if caring for him 24/7 is not enough)

Yep, he wanted the two women to best each other and show him who loves him more

When people show you who they are, believe them the first time

Did the surgery cause this?

Some people sympathized with his recovery but says nothing really changed, he just got really comfortable showing who he was

This is an opportunity for OP to distance herself far away from this guy

Others who have been through the same thing says that post-surgery recovery really does affect a person's mental state

It takes a while for them to be back to their "normal" selves and require professional help to deal with the trauma. However, OP's issues have more to do with the mother-son relationship than being an understanding full-time caregiver.

OP did a wonderful job attending to his needs alone, all hours of the day for weeks (if not months).

Her boyfriend could have shown more appreciation for all of her hardwork instead of constantly comparing her to his mom.

The most ridiculous thing he could have pointed out was this

OP has managed to get away from him, now she has to make sure that she doesn't get back with him

They forgot the most crucial part of the surgery!

He repeatedly told OP that she can't hold a candle to his mom until she snapped. Just imagine OP's exhaustion after taking care of him and then hearing those unappreciative words.

I would have given up a lot sooner than OP did after the first few times he started to compare her to his mom. Well, he got what he wished for and his mom is now caring for him full-time while OP is onto greener pastures.

Chelsi