Cheated Husband Feels Trapped In Marriage Because Guilt Of Tearing His Family Apart Doesn't Allow Him To Divorce

"I feel trapped but I know I need to leave."

Filip

• Published in Interesting
• November 23, 2023

Few people experience divorce easily. Usually, when it comes to divorce, people still ponder whether divorce is a good decision or whether there is hope to save the marriage.

That dilemma started bothering a Reddit user a few years ago. He shared his concerns online and asked for unbiased opinions.

The OP said he has been in a marriage for seven years and has two young sons with his wife. Despite years of unhappiness, he stayed in the marriage for the sake of his children.

His wife, who was a stay-at-home mom and attending college, began staying out late and eventually had two affairs. She justified her actions by blaming him for not being emotionally supportive.

After a brief period of considering divorce, they attempted marriage counseling. However, the OP's wife had issues with the therapist and continued communication with one of the men she had an affair with.

Their marriage remained unhappy, and eventually, the OP discovered her talking to the other man she had an affair with. Recently, as his career progressed and his income doubled, they started looking for a house.

In that process, the OP realized he no longer loved his wife. He has never forgiven her for her infidelities.

So, he expressed his desire for a divorce, hoping to settle it peacefully without a lawyer. However, he is overwhelmed with fear and guilt, worrying about the impact on his sons and the loss of time with them, especially since he lost his own father at a young age.

His wife begs him for another chance. She claims she needed a wake-up call and promises to change for him and their sons.

It has only worsened his feelings of guilt and conflict about getting a divorce.

OP asks:

OP said his wife started to act strange:

And he discovered she had two affairs:

So, they started marriage counseling:

But soon, they stopped seeing the therapist and returned to an unhappy marriage:

A few months later, the OP discovered her second affair:

Recently, while they were looking for a home, the OP realized he doesn't love her anymore:

But he feels guilty for tearing their family apart:

"I feel trapped, but I know I need to leave," explained the OP:

His wife begs him to stay:

But it only makes him feel more guilty:

One Redditor said that divorce is a better solution

"Accept that you're supposed to feel guilt"

"Stay strong, she will use every trick to get you to stay."

OP explained:

OP should divorce and fight for full custody

"Both of you need to get your own lawyers"

The OP deserves to be with someone who loves him

His wife had already torn their family apart

She won't change

The kids will be fine

Redditors advised the OP to file for divorce and fight for full custody. Probably, his wife will never change, and she just makes empty promises so that he won't leave her.

He deserves to be with someone who loves him. His wife had already had too many chances, and she did nothing but humiliate him.

Filip