Lady Cries Out As Boyfriend Gives Her One Financial Condition Before Getting Engaged

"I can’t predict precisely how long it would take"

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• August 1, 2024

Money is messy, and life is complicated. Although you're joining lives, the most challenging aspect of the task may be combining assets.

Your money is probably not a 50/50 commitment, even though your relationship might be. However, by keeping lines of communication open and honest about your income and spending, you may both avoid the major reason relationships end in the first place: arguments over money.

You see, relationships and money don't always go together nicely, particularly when you move in with someone you've never lived with before. The good news is that you might be able to afford to live in a more desirable area with more amenities if you pool your money together.

The bad news is that discussing cost distribution can be touchy, so it's best to decide early on how you will handle shared expenses when you move in with someone. Whether you're family, friends, or romantically involved, you should divide the costs fairly.

The OP of today's story felt her boyfriend was being unfair in regard to their financial responsibilities. They are currently living in a two-bedroom apartment because OP's BF needed to have a home office.

They split rent 50/50, and OP's BF pays for electricity and WiFi. They both have student loans to pay off, but still, OP's BF gave her a condition for them to be engaged.

Keep scrolling down to read the full story in the OP's own words below.

The OP writes

OP's BF makes about 30% more than her, plus commission.

OP wants to consolidate her loans once her credit goes up

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I think I may be the AH because this has been causing great strain in our relationship and maybe I am in the wrong about how our finances should be handled and just drop the issue.

And the comments roll in...

Salary differences are one thing

What happens after marriage?

The OP pays half in rent

The OP left this edit later on

Whenever I tell him I think this is not fair, he will tell me to “chill out” and “I should want more from life” I told him I love my life and I do not want him to want to change who I am in order to be with him.

To be completely transparent, I can be at times not the most financially responsible. I live paycheck to paycheck where he does not. This is partially due to me wanting to do fun things sometimes such as go out with friends or grab dinner. Nothing too extravagant and all my bills get paid.

However, I feel constantly criticized/judged whenever I do spend any money on something that doesn’t go towards savings or I just want to do something fun with our friends.

The OP should face reality

The OP is subsidising his workplace

He should be paying more

OP's BF sounds cheap

Redditors are of the opinion that OP's boyfriend ought to be paying 30% more, which is the cost for whatever portion the extra space is. The financial arrangement is truly not fair as equal and equitable are not the same thing.

When incomes are not equal, 50/50 is not always how bills should be split, but they can create a strategy that works for them. Eventually, the OP was declared not the AH.

Maryjane