High-Earning Husband Suspicious Of Wife's Request To Transfer Money To Her Account He Cannot Access

" I have another account for myself where I get direct deposits from my job."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• February 29, 2024

Marital finances and who manages the money, especially when set against the backdrop of a high-cost living city, can often become complicated. For one couple, this situation has led to a problem that challenges the boundaries of financial trust and shared responsibilities.

OP and his wife recently relocated to a new state for his job opportunity, entering the high-cost lifestyle that comes with their new city. With a significant difference in their incomes—he earns three times what his wife does as a school teacher—their approach to managing finances has come under scrutiny.

They maintain a joint checking account for convenience, yet their savings strategies diverge. The wife proposed a new financial arrangement: transferring the entirety of the husband's earnings into her savings account, to which he lacks access due to previous credit issues.

This proposal has led to discomfort and disagreement. OP, who covers 90% of the household expenses, expressed his desire to maintain some level of financial autonomy for emergencies, proposing instead to add his wife to his bank account for ease of access.

However, his wife is kind of upset because OP refused to transfer everything from his account every month after paying the bills. It’s not like he doesn’t trust her, but since he doesn’t have access to her savings yet, he is a bit uncomfortable doing so.

OP and his wife, married for 1.5 years, relocated due to his job, he earns three times more than her, and they reside in a high-cost-of-living city.

Recently, his wife asked him to transfer his account balance to her savings.

OP can't access her savings due to his pandemic-hit credit score, so he offered to add her to his bank account for her to use.

OP handles most household expenses, and keeps emergency funds, but his spouse wants all leftover money transferred to her account, OP lacks access to his spouse's savings, causing hesitation.

Her request seems unbalanced and raises suspicions.

OP should suggest keeping finances separate and discussing bill payments with his wife to manage funds more effectively.

OP should avoid combining finances if he lacks access to the shared money.

Her reaction is concerning.

OP needs to hire a Financial Advisor to handle things and give advice, so he is not the one rejecting the idea.

Unless there's an undisclosed problem, she doesn't have a reason to be upset.

Asking for all OP's money is strange.

Once OP has access, then he can decide what to do.

The money situation between OP and his wife is a bit odd. OP should suggest keeping their money separate and just talking about who pays what bills.

It's easier that way and makes sure everyone's on the same page. It's kind of weird that the wife got upset when OP didn't want to give her all his money.

They should talk it out calmly without getting mad. OP might want to get some help from a money expert to figure things out. It takes the pressure off him and lets someone else give advice.

Unless there's something they're not saying, asking for all of OP's money is pretty strange. Once OP can use the money, too, then they can figure out what to do with it together.

Damjan