Man Worries About Asking To Remove Teenager's Memorial From His Property

"I recently purchased a home on a country road."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• May 22, 2024

Sometimes, bad things happen out of the blue, leaving behind a lot of sadness. Even in peaceful places like countryside roads, there can be reminders of those sad times.

This story shows how hard it can be to heal when reminders of the past are all around, and it asks tough questions about moving on while still respecting the feelings of others. That's the situation for OP.

OP recently acquired a home situated along a country road. The property bears a somber history, as five years prior, a group of local teenagers, under the influence, met with a fatal accident when their car collided with a tree on OP's land.

Among them, one lost their life. Subsequently, the family of the deceased erected a roadside memorial comprising a 4-foot cross and a wooden sign.

Throughout the year, individuals visit the site intermittently, leaving behind flowers and notes as tokens of remembrance. The memorial stands prominently on OP's property, positioned just 10 feet from the road, directly in front of the tree that became the focal point of the tragic event.

However, the constant reminder of the sorrowful incident weighs heavily on OP, hindering efforts to move forward and embrace a fresh start in their new abode. OP desires closure and a fresh start but is conflicted about the emotions tied to a memorial for a deceased teenager.

He wonders if requesting its removal would prioritize their well-being over respecting the grieving community's feelings. This dilemma raises the question of whether seeking solace through removing the memorial would be fair or perceived as insensitive.

OP bought a home on a rural road where, five years prior, local teens crashed their car into a tree on the property, resulting in a fatality.

A roadside memorial was erected on OP's property, featuring a 4-foot cross and wooden sign and visitors occasionally leave flowers and notes at the site.

The memorial is too depressing for OP to see daily and reminds him of the tragedy he is trying to move past.

OP is wondering if it is wrong to request the removal of the memorial in his new home to start fresh, considering the feelings of the kids' family and friends.

OP can talk to the family, and suggest a small flowerbed instead of a large cross.

Property owners have the right to decide.

It's understandable to feel uncomfortable, so OP is not the je*k here and they can honor the deceased elsewhere, like at a cemetery, which serves the same purpose.

It's worth checking local laws; some places ban these memorials due to safety concerns, and even where allowed, they usually need approval.

OP can suggest planting a flower bed or another living symbol instead of the cross.

It's unnecessary to memorialize their loss at the exact site of the incident, if everyone did this, there would be memorials everywhere.

The memorial is typically a small white cross on the road easement, not a 4-foot structure on private property.

Grieving people aren't always rational.

OP can consider compromises like planting a tree or adding a memorial bench, but gently explain why the cross isn't a permanent option.

OP rightfully wants a say on his land. He can respectfully seek alternatives to a large memorial.

It's understandable for him to feel uneasy, but exploring compromises, like a smaller garden or bench, can honor the loved one while maintaining his comfort. Checking local regulations is wise, balancing respect for the deceased with practicality and safety concerns.

Damjan