Woman Refuses To Parent Her Stepdaughter Because She Feels It Would Destroy Their Relationship And Gets In A Fight With The Bio Mom
It is so worth it to start a family, but before you do, it's important to know that you're prepared to put your all into it. Your once carefree existence will now be filled with obligations you must assume for your spouse and your youngsters.
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You have to put them first. And when you can't, bad things happen.
Yes, we are talking about divorces. However, they don't have to be ugly.
Some people can remain on good terms (usually for the kids' sake). And that's great.
Unfortunately, this doesn't happen all that often. And we have one such story here.
Okay, we have to admit that the relations between former spouses are not that bad (we certainly saw much worse stories on Reddit), but this one is a bit different. Namely, we often hear about women who want to be stepmothers and impose on their stepchildren, and we often see stepmothers who don't want to take care of the kids and create a toxic atmosphere.
But now, we have a woman who takes care of her teen stepdaughter (in her words - by being an adult in her life) but refuses to parent her. In her eyes, her stepdaughter is mature enough to make her own decisions.
However, the teen's mother doesn't see it that way. She demands that our OP behaves like a stepmother, enforcing discipline and things like that.
And this difference in views has caused a conflict:
OP asks:
She is married to a man who has a daughter from a previous marriage.
The ex-wife is difficult to handle. And the stepdaughter chose to spend more time with her dad and OP.
Eve (the stepdaughter) is an amazing girl. She is even more responsible than OP, and that's why she believes Eve doesn't need her breathing down her neck.
OP has a great relationship with her and doesn't want to boss her around
Kim (Eve's mother) called OP about a party that Eve was supposed to go to. And OP told her off.
So, Kim showed up at their house and yelled at them. Now OP's husband and Eve are upset with her because she didn't follow their tactics.
Redditors were clear:
OP is not at fault here
She has three choices:
All communication should go through the husband.
After all, Eve is 17
And she is a responsible girl
This is how it should be:
OP posted an update:
Explanation 1:
Explanation 2:
She doesn't want to cross the line
Explanation 3:
This could be the answer:
OP didn't allow Eve to go to the party - her father did.
Family relationships are complicated, especially when the family is separated and fused into other families. The good thing is that the OP's husband and his ex-wife managed to raise a wonderful young lady.
So that tells us that Kim is not all so bad. But, she needs to understand that her little girl is growing up, and she needs to stop being so overprotective.
It is one of the hardest lessons any parent can learn, but we all have to eventually.