Redditor Grapples With The Ethics Of Using A Gift Certificate Intended For Ex-Partner

"They blew up on me basically saying that I stole their birthday gift."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• November 23, 2023

Breaking up is never easy. It's a time fraught with mixed emotions, lingering attachments, and often, the practical problem of dividing shared possessions.

This delicate situation of detaching lives once intertwined is a common real-life problem, and it becomes particularly complicated when it involves gifts and personal items left behind. This brings us to a story from Reddit, where OP found themselves in a peculiar predicament post-breakup.

After parting ways amicably, communication with their ex was minimal, mostly revolving around the logistics of retrieving left-behind belongings. In the midst of this, an unexpected dilemma arose.

Last year, OP gifted their then-partner a massage voucher for a local salon. Fast forward to the present, and this certificate, untouched and forgotten, resurfaced in OP's car.

Given that their ex had relocated to a different city and hadn't used the certificate in over six months, OP decided to treat themselves to a relaxing massage.

However, the calm post-massage bliss was short-lived. When their ex reached out to inquire about the voucher, they were met with the truth: it had been used.

This revelation sparked an eruption of anger from the ex, who accused OP of stealing their birthday gift. OP feeling justified in their actions, refused to reimburse for the used certificate, confident that their ex wouldn't escalate the matter over sixty dollars.

This leads to a crucial question posed to the Reddit community: Was the OP justified in using the gift certificate, or are they in the wrong?

OP recently broke up with his ex, and they don't talk much anymore because they moved to another city.

OP gifted them ex a massage certificate for their birthday, but they never used it and left it in OP's car. Six months later, they texted OP asking about the certificate. OP decided to use it himself since it seemed unlikely they would, considering the distance and time that had passed.

Ex accuses OP of stealing a gift certificate for a massage, and OP is questioning whether it was wrong for him to use the gift certificate.

f the item was important to them, they would have remembered to bring it themselves.

If OP gave it to them, then they forgot it in OP'S car and haven't asked for it in months it's OP's again.

It's reasonable to assume that when they moved out, they took everything they wanted.

Expressing justified frustration in a harmless manner is sometimes necessary.

OP don't have to tolerate their mistreatment.

OP is not in a great relationship with them anymore, but they are not at fault for not returning it.

While lying might have avoided drama, OP had no reason to believe they would react this way.

The person hadn't used the gift card for six months, and it's surprising it was still valid.

OP is not in the wrong because six months is a long time.

It's reasonable to say that the OP probably didn't do anything wrong by using the gift certificate. They likely thought their ex had forgotten about it or didn't need it anymore because they hadn't mentioned it.

However, it would have been a good idea for the OP to send a message to their ex when they found the certificate in the car. This way, they could have talked about it and figured out what to do together.

Breakups can be tricky when it comes to shared stuff and gifts, so talking openly and kindly can help avoid problems and hurt feelings.

Damjan