Mom's Failure To Discipline Younger Her Daughters Results In Eldest Moving In With Dad, Blames Him When He Tries To Give Her Parenting Advice
A formerly married couple is arguing about their 21-year-old daughter's recent decision to move out of her mom's house to move in with her dad. The choice was made after Gia got tired of her maternal siblings' going through her stuff against her wishes.
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OP and Kayla remarried their respective partners after their divorce two decades ago. OP has a son with his wife, while Kayla has three kids with her husband.
Gia's main issue is with her maternal younger sisters who are 8 and 14 years of age. Gia is only home during her breaks because she is too busy with college.
She lives with Kayla during breaks but visits OP and stays overnight infrequently. OP was fine with Gia's decision because it made sense for her to stay in one place now that she is an adult.
He reassured Gia that she had a room in her house and would always be her home. This reassurance played a part after Gia's increasing issues with her younger sisters.
She came home to find her stuff broken or missing. Her mom and stepdad installed a lock on her door, which worked great while Gia was away.
If she was home and forgot to lock her room, her sisters were guaranteed to have rummaged through her stuff. OP has no idea how Kayla handles her daughters' disrespecting Gia's privacy, but he sees how frustrated Gia is about the situation.
The last straw was when Gia's sleep was interrupted by her sisters' pestering. Her mom and stepdad reprimanded the kids, but it had no effect.
After that incident, Gia approached OP and asked if she could change their arrangement. She planned to live with him during breaks and only visit her mom when possible.
OP was happy to report that Gia and her brother got along despite their bickering. He respects his sister's privacy, so Gia isn't worried about her stuff.
Kayla was told about Gia's decision. She called OP and begged him to convince Gia to move back. OP said it was their fault for not correcting her daughters' disrespect of Gia. This upset his ex-wife. She accused OP of trying to parent her kids.
There were plenty of things Kayla should have done to correct her daughters' behaviors if she didn't want Gia to move out.
Maybe Kayla needs a reminded that Gia is now a 21-year-old adult capable of making her own choices.
If OP doesn't want the argument to escalate, he can tell Kayla that Gia is old enough to make her choices without their input.
The truth of their ineffective parenting may have been a hard pill to swallow, but Kayla opened that topic up when she begged OP to force Gia to move back.
Kayla is just reluctant to admit that she dropped the ball with Gia and her younger daughters.
Besides, Gia is old enough not to need her parents to co-parent.
Kayla needs to be a little less selfish. Gia made a decision that was best for her. She wasn't comfortable in her mom's house and chose an alternative solution.
The hope is for Kayla to reflect and see where she went wrong in this situation.
OP has to rise above reprimanding his ex-wife about their daughter if he wants less stress.
OP shouldn't engage with Kayla when she tries to rope him into an argument about their adult daughter's decision. Gia decided after her mom didn't do anything about her sisters invading her privacy.
OP should be proud of how Gia handled the incident. She was rational and didn't make any unnecessary drama despite Kayla's reaction.