Reddit Users Share 30 Ways To Professionally Tell Your Coworkers To Stop Annoying You Without Getting In Trouble With HR

"Do you think I am stupid?" - "I am not sure, I don't know you that well."

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• October 30, 2023

Telling a coworker to shut the hell up when they are being annoyed is a sure way to book an appointment with human resources. There are certain things we can't say while we're at work, especially if they violate the company's code of conduct.

Instead of creating a hostile work environment or getting a written warning, seasoned employees found ways to subtly stop their, um, challenging colleagues from stressing them out. Some call it "email speak," but really, they are polite euphemisms when you are prohibited from speaking unprofessionally.

These workplace euphemisms were the subject of a discussion on Reddit. An inquisitive mind asked, "What was the most professional way you've heard/said, 'F*ck you,' in the workplace?"

The question received nearly 5k comments from frustrated, yet wise, employees who had their fair share of trying colleagues. Based on the 19k upvotes, other members of the workforce needed these polite euphemisms in their workplace arsenals.

Some of the replies could get you in trouble if your coworker caught on to what you tried to say. Most of them will go over their heads since the reply wasn't rude or dismissive.

We selected 30 of the most upvoted and intriguing answers. Proceed with caution before quoting these in your next work-related email chain.

1. You severely overestimated your contributions to this organization. Next!

2. Not really subtle, but there is no room for questions

3. Silence works best in an in-person meeting. Muting them on Zoom might not be tolerated.

4. How to tell someone they are an idiot without alerting HR

5. This has already been discussed. To you. Specifically. It's not my fault you didn't check your inbox.

6. The "or else..." is implied

7. Good for you. You still made a mistake.

8. The commitment to this eff you is admirable

9. All pretense dropped once the 2-week notice was done

Fake cordiality is unnecessary

10. I didn't mispeak and I am not bad at math

11. This is how legends are born

12. A bulleted list of your grievances against this MF needs to be in circulation

13. Incredible how the omission of one word could change the meaning

14. If that call was pulled for a review, your coworker would get in trouble. Was it worth it? Yes, it was.

15. Rumor has it she still hasn't figured out how insulting that statement was

16. That cheque will remain uncashed

17. I would have dissolved into my seat

18. The next email is, "Let's take this offline."

19. Is it the same as, "We will take this under advisement."

20. An old lady saying, "Bless your heart" can be devastating in the right context

21. In short, it's a you problem.

22. Having the last word against a coworker hell-bent on getting you in trouble is satisfying

Stunning them into silence with your efficiency is even better

23. You're a good trier!

24. Their next reply is, "I would like to speak to your supervisor!"

25. This one has great impact. The person on the receiving end of this phrase will instantly self-reflect.

26. It's the perfect farewell

27. i.e., not that much time. Also, screw you for ruining my break!

28. A corporate-approved event to roast your boss? Sounds like a trap to me.

29. "Leaders of the industry" do this every single day to their employees

30. Mic drop

Cursing at someone who deserves it brings its own kind of satisfaction. In a place where doing so can cost your job, subtlety is the way to go.

Are you planning to take a page out of the Redditor's guidebook to professional email speak? Could this have been an email?

Chelsi