Young Woman Decides Against Having Father, Fresh Out Of Prison, Walk Her Down The Aisle

"I tend to be a bit uncomfortable around him now."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• August 18, 2023

In life, families are held together by strong connections that can endure even the toughest challenges. These connections are formed through shared experiences, both good and bad, that create a bond that lasts over time.

Family ties aren't just about convenience; they are built on a deep sense of love and understanding that can survive difficult situations. Families, like a complex puzzle, have their issues and complications.

Disagreements and conflicts are part of the picture, but the history and understanding shared among family members help them stick together even when things get tough. It's during these challenging times that the true strength of family bonds is put to the test.

In this scenario, OP holds no malice toward her father (M59) despite her continuing anger over his actions. However, due to the circumstances of his recent release from jail and her family's collective anger toward him, she feels uncomfortable around him. Her upcoming wedding amplifies this situation.

While she's willing to interact with her father when others aren't present, deep emotional closeness remains challenging. She communicates her discomfort, and he respects her boundaries.

When he proposes to walk her down the aisle, she declines, opting for her uncle (M63) instead. This decision upsets her father, who considers it a brief moment of interaction.

Despite understanding her trauma and the reasons behind her discomfort, her father insists on the aisle walk. Striking a balance between her father's wishes and her emotional well-being, OP stands firm on her choice.

She seeks external opinions on whether her decision is justified.

OP holds no ill will towards her recently incarcerated father but feels uncomfortable due to his past actions; the family is also very upset with him

OP is preparing for the wedding, and when her father proposes to accompany her down the aisle, she politely declines the offer, expressing a preference for her uncle instead.

Despite the father's ongoing emotional pain, the OP prioritizes her personal comfort over fulfilling her dad's desire.

It's OP's right to not have him walk her down the aisle

If he's "insisting," he's not respecting OP's choice, adding to her discomfort

OP doesn't have to explain why he can't walk her down the aisle

OP set her boundaries respectfully, even offering to consider his feelings

His dismissal of the situation is presumptuous.

Two key issues in OP's wedding: past trauma and potential family drama over roles. It's fine to take steps to ease both.

OP's father poor choices harmed their relationship

OP's decision to prioritize her feelings and boundaries is a valid one, especially considering the traumatic history she shares with her father. The fact that he's unable to grasp the depth of her emotions and insists on his wishes, despite causing her distress is unfortunate.

In any healthy relationship, understanding and empathy should be reciprocal. OP's father, even with good intentions, seems to be disregarding her emotional turmoil.

Walking down the aisle is symbolic and deeply intimate; forcing herself into a situation that would evoke discomfort could cast a shadow on what should be a joyful moment.

OP's choice to have her uncle accompany her instead is a thoughtful solution that respects her emotions while still involving her family. This decision is a sign of her strength and self-awareness – qualities that will undoubtedly contribute to the success of her future marriage.

Ultimately, in this scenario, prioritizing her mental and emotional health is not only justified but also a testament to her resilience.

Damjan