Young Woman Expected To Pay For A Trip That She Was Uninvited From

"She also sent me an account number “to contribute however much I see fit”. I’m now thinking zero"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• August 17, 2023

Friendships can often take us through unpredictable twists and turns. One Reddit user's dilemma is a clear example of how good intentions can lead to misunderstandings that could put a strain on even the closest relationships.

The question at the center of this controversy: "Would I be the asshole (WIBTA) for not paying my part of a vacation I am no longer welcome to?" OP was excited to vacation with her close friends, Jane and John.

While initially promising, she soon faced several challenges - from changing dates to sleeping accommodations. Committed to making it work, OP consistently offered to handle her share of the vacation expenses, even suggesting she could contribute a bit extra given Jane's financial circumstances.

Yet, despite OP's earnest attempts to settle the payment, John deferred, saying, "We'll figure it out later." Things took a downturn when Jane voiced concerns about OP's supposed lack of "togetherness" and engagement.

When OP, in good faith, proposed to pay 20% more than her due share, she was met with allegations and doubts from Jane. Unexpectedly, Jane expressed her desire to cancel the vacation with OP, citing OP's lack of involvement rather than the monetary issues.

Now, with Jane suggesting OP pay "however much she sees fit," the question arises: Should OP pay for a trip she might not even attend?

OP asks:

OP was excited to vacation with her close friends, Jane and John.

However, their enthusiasm had somehow disappeared.

They made everything difficult for OP

The drama starts:

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

The question is "WIBTA for not paying them money although I initially said so?"

"It's dumb that you offered to still pay after being uninvited."

OP was emotional

The sudden emphasis on 'togetherness' seems more like a scapegoat rather than a genuine concern. In situations like these, transparency and open communication are paramount. However, the actions of Jane and John, given the narrative, seem to indicate that they might have been searching for reasons to exclude OP from the trip.

Friendships thrive on understanding and mutual respect; regrettably, it seems those qualities were sorely lacking here.

Maybe she wanted to be upset and created situation...

This might be true

"when someone changes to dates that doesn’t work for you and doesn’t ask for payment..."

OP says that the fact that the friend didn't refuse her paying was an eye-opener

Let's be honest: friendships can get messy, but this situation seems pretty clear-cut. OP tried her best to roll with the punches, from date changes to unclear payment plans. Yet, at every turn, Jane and John made things harder. Bringing up the whole "togetherness" thing feels more like an excuse rather than a real issue. It's almost like they were looking for a way out. In any friendship, being open and straightforward is the way to go. But from the story, it sounds like Jane and John weren't really playing fair. Friendships should be built on trust and understanding, but it looks like that foundation was missing here.

Damjan