Lady Feels Taken For Granted And Starts Pulling Away From Her Fiance, Seeks To End The Relationship Even If Her Partner Still Loves Her

"Dreading is too strong a word but definitely that sort of sentiment"

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• November 25, 2023

Love can bring on simultaneous feelings of emotion, excitement, and euphoria. During the beginning phase, your heart races, you get butterflies all the time, and life appears perfect.

Years later, though, you might observe a change—perhaps you've been having fantasies about being single or dating other people. Maybe the once-endearing qualities of your relationship are really starting to irritate you.

The fact is that couples often grow apart over time, even when neither partner has done anything "wrong." Even though losing interest in someone could indicate the end of the relationship, with enough work and patience, it is possible to rekindle the passion.

The narrator of today's story is having second thoughts about her relationship. The doubt started when OP's fiancé spent a lot of time gaming and wasn't pulling his weight with cleaning, planning, decisions, etc.

Also, he didn't really make an effort with the OP, and she generally felt a bit neglected or taken for granted. Eventually, the OP gave up and started pulling away because she didn't feel she was being listened to.

They had taken steps to start looking at buying a house together shortly before the OP started pulling away. It was only when the OP said she was reconsidering that her boyfriend started to listen and make an effort.

Still, the OP says that his effort hasn't really changed how she feels. She thinks that by the time she gave up asking and started pulling away, it was too late.

The headline

The doubt started when OP's fiancé spent a lot of time gaming

The OP doesn't want to spend time with her fiance anymore

It was nice to have someone who was chatty, but it annoys the OP now

OP's fiance very clearly still loves her and is very much attracted to her

OP's more so worried she'll suddenly realise she was just being too hard on him

The OP added this in the comments

it's not the being single/being alone that I'm worried about, like I said I'm preferring being alone at the moment - it's more worry that this is just some weird funk (although I don't think it is) and I'll wake up in 2 years time and realise I made a huge mistake I won't be able to undo.

I'm reasonably certain I wouldn't regret it purely on the front of being alone, I absolutely do not want to feel like this for the rest of my life, any regret would come from making the wrong decision. But I guess I'm not gonna know what the right or wrong decision is until I make one and a decent amount of time has passed.

And the comments roll in...

Bearing the weight that almost puts you under

Love yourself as you only have one life to live

We need to reevaluate the relationship

It's okay to make plans to go your separate ways

How to start the conversation

The OP says she's terrible for getting flustered and backtracking after getting a bad reaction, so a defined plan will help her a lot. She's also hoping to get an appointment with a therapist and will discuss things with the person.

You've read what other Redditors have to say, so leave your own advice for the OP in the comments section below.

Maryjane