Woman Torn As Estranged Mother, Who Abandoned Her In Childhood, Seeks To Move In Due To Old Age And Illness
Parenting is like a big puzzle with lots of decisions to make for your kids. But sometimes, even if you're trying your best, these choices can turn out differently than you thought.
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It's like a reminder that being a parent is tricky, and what you do now might show its effects later. OP's mother abandoned her and her sister during their formative years, each growing up under different paternal roofs.
Infrequent visits from their mother were marred by the turbulence of her relationships, casting shadows over their upbringing. In the present, OP's mother journeys from Florida to Massachusetts, subtly expressing a desire to share a future residence with OP, offering her disability allowance in return.
The complexity arises from the fact that OP, dwelling in a compact apartment and parenting a 10-year-old child coping with severe autism, faces considerable challenges. While OP's sister has firmly dismissed the proposal, OP herself grapples with her mother's persistent need for attention and her litany of health grievances.
The fulcrum of the issue rests on OP's enduring commitment to her child's well-being, a responsibility likely extending throughout their life. This commitment generates a profound dilemma regarding the rejection of her mother's proposition.
Consequently, seeking counsel on whether prioritizing her child's needs above her mother's wishes is an unreasonable course of action.
OP's mother abandoned her children, resulting in OP and her sister being separated, each living with different fathers in different towns.
The mother of OP comes to visit occasionally and purchases one-way tickets. She expresses a desire to live with OP in the future and has also proposed the idea of purchasing a house with an additional bedroom.
OP's sister declined the idea of living with their mother because of the mother's actions. OP is also contemplating turning down the offer because she needs to prioritize taking care of her child, who is dealing with a lasting situation.
OP needs to make her own well-being and that of her family the primary concern, without allowing her mother's persuasion to lead her into prioritizing her child less.
OP's mum must face consequences instead of trying to erase the past.
OP has to be willing to say no
OP's reasons are valid: lack of space, higher priorities, and personal preference
If OP's mom's plan was to rely on OP and her sister for her retirement, she should have been a proper parent earlier
Her past actions, including abandoning OP, highlight that she's not someone OP wants around.
OP's sister is correct, the answer is a firm "NO."
OP doesn't have to live with someone who makes her life miserable
OP shouldn't feel the need to explain herself and can simply say "No" without feeling guilty.
OP's experience of being left by her mom when she was growing up makes things more complicated now. For OP, what matters the most is her child's well-being.
This way of thinking isn't just okay; it's good. She wants to make sure her child has the best possible environment to grow up in. Saying no to her mom's request, like her sister did, isn't a bad thing. It's a choice made because she wants to give her child the best care possible.
In this situation, deciding to put her child's needs before her mom's wishes is not just the right thing, it's the most important thing to do.