Mom Of Four Becomes Subject Of The Rumor Mill After Backing Out Of The Carpool Arrangement She Had With Karen

"I might just start a group chat with the moms I know and call her out."

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• February 4, 2024

A mom's decision to discontinue her carpooling agreement with another mom proved to be controversial. OP's three kids are on different school schedules.

Her eldest kid was set to start high school and must be there at 7:30 A.M. Her elementary and middle school kids would be expected at school at 8:45 and 9:30 A.M., respectively.

Logistically, the most practical way was for OP and her kids to adhere to the eldest kid's class schedule. They must leave the house altogether.

The long and short of it is the current carpool agreement OP had with another mom no longer made sense. OP promptly told the mom about her decision a month before the new school year started.

The other mom was unhappy with OP's choice and tried to change her mind. She threw hypothetical situations at OP where having another mom to carpool with was beneficial.

The more the other mom messaged OP, the longer she took to reply to the messages. OP eventually stopped responding to the messages and thought the negotiations were over.

About a week before the new school year started, OP received a message from the other mom. She informed OP that she was unable to make other arrangements for her kids, so the carpool deal they had needed to continue for a few weeks.

"No," was all OP said. The other mom got upset.

OP believes she has since talked about her badly to their other mom friends.

OP's husband was asked by his friend if OP was okay. His friend is married to one of OP's mom friends.

OP contemplated sharing her side of the story to discourage any rumors about her from going further, but she wondered if she treated the other mom terribly.

Did she make a selfish choice when she only considered her kids' schedule about discontinuing the carpool arrangement?

OP explained further why it made more sense for her to drive her kids to school altogether despite the gaps in their class schedules.

Her problem isn't OP's problem. Demanding for the carpool to continue when OP already clearly stated why she couldn't is just entitlement on the other mom's part.

If the other mom doesn't stop badmouthing OP to anyone who would listen, OP needs to correct the narrative.

She could be "helpful" and aid her friend in setting up other carpool arrangements.

OP gave the other mom plenty of time to find others she could carpool with. OP is not to blame that the other mom's plans didn't pan out.

OP has more pressing matters to deal with than be consumed by petty rumors that shouldn't have started in the first place.

Anyone who thinks that taking care of a fourth baby is a job for lazy people is deluded. For this to come from other moms is just shameful.

OP has no contractual obligation to carpool with the other mom.

This could be the best solution if OP doesn't want to be directly involved with the drama.

If the other mom has time to spread unfair rumors about OP, then she has time to fix her carpooling issues. If she spent her energy looking for other moms to carpool with, then the issue should be resolved quickly.

OP was right not to engage the rumors. She has enough kids to worry about without adding another adult's tantrum into the mix.

Chelsi