MIL Was Against Third Grandchild From Start But Still Whines About Being Excluded From Childbirth

"My MIL has always said that having a 3rd would be an absolute horrible idea"

Filip

• Published in Interesting
• May 9, 2024

Having help after giving birth is incredibly valuable for parents, especially mothers. Any of the family members, friends, or even professional caregivers could support the mother during the period of recovery and adjustment.

Such support eases the physical and emotional strain on parents and also encourages a better environment and well-being for the entire family. So, when a mother asked a Redditor to come to help her after her C-section, she gladly accepted. 

But her MIL wasn't happy about this and accused her of being selfish. The OP and her husband had originally planned to have two children but decided last summer to have a third. 

Living abroad away from their parents, they independently raise their two children, aged 5 and 3. Despite stable jobs, a house of their own, and no family support, the OP's MIL has consistently opposed the idea of a third child.

She labeled it irresponsible and lamented the limited time she would get to spend with another grandchild. When the OP and her husband announced the pregnancy, the MIL's reaction was subdued, and she expressed concern about their ability to manage three kids. 

Throughout the pregnancy, MIL avoided conversations about the OP and the ongoing pregnancy. On the other hand, the OP's mother was thrilled with the third grandchild and offered to help by staying with them for two weeks around the delivery.

Upon receiving the C-section date, the OP's mother immediately booked her flight. However, when MIL learned about this, she reacted coldly and abruptly ended the call. 

The following day, his sister contacted the OP's husband, insisting he must apologize to their mother for excluding her, claiming she wanted to be the first to see the child. MIL had planned a short visit around the delivery, which would require her son to drive her to and from the airport, leaving the OP to manage three children alone post-surgery while her mother would travel by train. 

Both MIL and SIL have accused the OP of being selfish and excluding MIL.

The OP asks:

The OP and her husband decided to have a third child:

But the OP's MIL has always been against this idea:

However, the OP informed her when she got pregnant, and MIL distanced herself:

On the other side, the OP's mother had offered to help them, and they accepted:

But when MIL found out the OP's mother would go to them, she got offended and felt excluded:

MIL also planned to visit them for 4 days around the birth, but that wouldn't work for OP and her husband anyway:

Now, MIL and SIL accuse the OP of being selfish:

A Redditor said it's not about MIL and SIL thus the OP is right

The OP's husband should speak to his mother and sister

MIL is whack

MIL is just jealous because the OP's mother actually wants to help them

"Ask her if she's feeling okay?"

The OP shouldn't be worrying about her MIL's feelings

MIL makes this about herself

The OP's husband should have an honest conversation with his mother

Redditors told the OP not to worry about her MIL's feelings. The MIL wasn't supportive of their pregnancy, nor did she care for the OP.

She's just jealous that the OP's mother will be the first to see their grandchild. Her actions are not driven by love but by competition.

Filip