Brilliant Responses From Women About Why They Did Or Did Not Take Their Husband's Last Name

It's not the 50's anymore, Karen

Elana

• Published in Funny
• May 4, 2019

Did you know that between the late 1800's and as late as 1975 women in the United States have been going to federal court for legal rights to keep their maiden name upon marriage? And use it legally? Today, various countries have a variety of customs and laws, most of which have been enacted in the last 2-4 decades as well. For example, in Greece, women are required to keep their birth names for their whole life. However in Japan, the law does not recognize married couples who have different surnames as lawful husband and wife, which means that 96% of married Japanese women take their husband's surname.

Today, modern feminists and women in general debate back and forth about whether or not it's necessary, appropriate, oppressive, or empowering to take their husband's last name. Rather than rattle off facts, why not just ask women directly? Why did, or didn't you take your husband's last name when you got married? The answers women gave were eye-opening, to say the least!

Condolences.

"I did it so I didn't offend my in-laws. I regret it every day." - katekerstenb

"I kept my last name because I earned it."

"Throughout my whole childhood I was constantly made fun of for my last name. I was always so embarrassed and couldn't wait to turn 18 to legally change it. But, I didn't. The bullying and embarrassment sucked, but I got through it and my name made me who I am. I love my husband, but his name is his, and my name is mine. It took me nearly 30 years, but I'm proud of my whole name and I'm not giving that up for anybody." - sarahpugh38

"My parents refused to take each other's last names, so when they married they picked a new last name and passed it on to me."

"Throughout my life, people assumed I was related to people in the area with the new last name, but I wasn't. I was so happy to take my husband's last name for many reasons, but one of the biggest to me was joining a family name that means something to both of us." - ladyboots

Well, of course!

"I'm not changing my bland-ass last name to hi bland-ass last name when I just renewed my passport." - csmith526

Well, we can definitely get behind this.

"My last name is Beers... no way am I giving that up!" - carissab437c22f39

Family is everything.

"I like the idea of having the same last name as my kids. I didn’t want to saddle them with a very long hyphenation. I made my maiden name my middle name so I didn’t have to let it go completely." - carlyvandewalleg

Mom and Dad > Dudes

"My parents, the two people who literally made me, gave me my name and I won't chane it for a guy I met three years ago." - rosaevel

Touche

"I changed mine because my husband's name is eight letters shorter and easier to pronounce."

- lysaaness

"My dad doesn’t have any brothers or sons, so our family name ends with my sister and me."

"I hyphenated my last name with my husband’s when I got married to honor my dad and my new family, too!" - nickyw4f486932b

Laying down the law.

"I kept my last name because the practice of changing last names originates from a time when marriage was a transfer of property from one man to another. Even though it no longer means that (for me, at least), I don't know why any woman would want to continue that tradition." - becktronica

"I took my husband’s last name because I love the idea of sharing a name with my best friend."

"Plus, I took my maiden name as my new middle name." - laurak20

It's called dedication, look it up.

"I didn't spend 30 years teaching people how to pronounce my last name to wuss out now."

- louisab4c3bda865

"I didn't take my husband's last name because my husband and I are separate people."

"He's not my father and I'm not his property — we are two equals who came together. We love and respect each other very much. But I'm me and he's him. Simple." - sarahrossetti436

"I’m from Utah and a former member of the Mormon church, so it was just assumed I would take my husband’s last name."

"I was married at 22 and thought being married defined me. Now, at 28, I wish I had kept my last name or at least hyphenated it because I’ve matured enough to realize I’m not just my husband’s wife." - samanthac479a948e5

"I took my husband's last name because I chose him and he chose me."

"The name change was a way to show that to the world. I didn't feel like I was betraying my family because I kept my first and middle name — the names my parents actually picked for me. I think it's cool I got to pick my last name." - michelle403

Redundant.

"Because I have my own last name." - ashlyc43c8c22bf

Be proud of what you worked for.

"He's not the one who graduated with a chemistry degree, and he's not the one going to school to be a doctor. I am." - emstem

"I didn't take my husband's last name until we had kids."

"I was adamant I was going to remain my own person, and taking his name felt too much like him having ownership of me. Once we had kids, my whole ideology changed. I no longer saw it as me taking his name — but more our family all sharing the same name." - steppingstoneshcc

"I'm only a teenager, but I know I will not take my husband's last name."

"I'm biracial, so my first name is a traditional white last name and my last name is Cambodian. I don't want to lose that part of myself. My last name has been a massive part of my identity, and because my family survived a genocide, I want to keep the family name going on."

- maddylovesclubpenguin

This adds up to logical.

"I took my husband's last name because my maiden name is Coward. Seriously." - adrianajaec

"I took my husband's last name because I like how it makes us an easily identifiable team."

"Our last name is Rodriguez and everyone knows our family as the Rod Squad." - kellyanne2626

"I didn't take my husband's last name because your name is a pretty important part of your identity."

"It’s usually the first part you offer to people when you meet them. No other parts of my identity changed when I got married, so why should my name?" - lindsayb42bb479a4

"My husband and I decided to create a new last name when we tied the knot."

"It represents equality all around and the creation of our new lives together." - skoll

Couple Goals As Heck

"I took my husband's name because it symbolizes we are one." - a455cc6b83

When you're right, you're right.

"Changing my name involved a trip to the DMV. Not worth it." - empressrouge

"I can’t wait to take my fiancé’s last name! It symbolizes our new journey together as a family."

"Plus, I hate my last name, so it’s a win-win for me." - devynflack

"Honestly, I took his because my last name started with a Z and his started with a B."

"All my life I was last in everything, and I didn’t feel like putting my future children through the same thing." - tessakayz

"I lost my father right before I got married and he didn’t have much to leave me."

"I just wanted to keep my last name for a while since it felt like the last thing he had to give me. I wound up divorced six years later, so that sentiment saved some headache down the road."

- megang453c82946

"I took my husband's name because it sounds better with my first name than my maiden name did. It's prettier!"

"A few years after I got married, my father and I had a horrible falling out and our relationship was profoundly altered. I was very grateful I no longer had his last name — and he couldn't claim ownership of me." - stobs

"I changed my last name for the anonymity."

"My maiden name was very unusual, but my married name is dead common. I'm impossible to Google now." - decoyduck

"Because my father was never there for me."

"I jumped at the opportunity to take my husband's last name rather than live with the name of someone who doesn’t care about me." - celar77

Well, naturally.

"Because I married a woman, and she took mine." - lesboagogo

Some jokes write themselves.

"We have the same last name. In our case, it really was a 'Nguyen-Nguyen' situation. I'll be here all night." - amyn40f98c974

Elana