Redditor Asks For Advice When Their Co-Worker Becomes Manipulative And Visits For Six Hours At A Time Uninvited

The OP's friend recently got divorced and has been struggling with feeling isolated and alone.

Stephanie

• Published in Interesting
• February 4, 2023

We always do everything we can to look out for our friends and be there for them when they need us. But, what happens when our friends start to take advantage of us?

Well, Reddit user u/ColtDancer has experienced this scenario with one of their co-workers, and recently posted about it in the AITA (Am I The A**hole?) subreddit. The original poster explained that their co-worker was having a very hard time in 2020, so the OP would often check in on them via Zoom or messages.

They formed a nice friendship, and the OP says they consider them to be a good friend. But, recently, things have started to get a little out of hand.

The Redditor's friend recently got divorced and has been struggling with feeling isolated and alone. The OP says their friend has leaned on them for support, and they have been happy to be there for their friend during this hard time.

The OP says they have always encouraged their friend to reach out when they feel depressed. However, more recently, things have become a little awkward because OP's friend has admitted to having a crush on them.

They often make inappropriate comments or try to hug the OP, even though the Redditor has shut down anything more than a friendship between them. The OP says their own spouse is thankfully very understanding of the whole situation.

The Redditor says that their friend will often try to see them, although the OP feels it is unhealthy for them and they need to move on. The OP says their friend will show up uninvited and stay for more than six hours at a time, despite the OP trying to hint that it's too much.

The OP says their friend has started to become manipulative with their words, or by guilting the OP into allowing them to come over. So, the Redditor decided it was time to set some firm boundaries.

The OP started to deny their friend and tell them they could not come over. But their friend was hurt, and now the OP is wondering if they were a bit too harsh.

So, they turned to the Reddit community for advice. Keep scrolling to see how people reacted.

The OP recently posted about their experience with their co-worker becoming a little bit too much.

The Redditor's friend recently got divorced and has been struggling with feeling isolated and alone.

More recently, things have become a little awkward because OP's friend has admitted to having a crush on them.

The Redditor says that their friend will often try to see them, although the OP feels it is unhealthy for them and they need to move on.

The OP says their friend has started to become manipulative with their words, or by guilting the OP into allowing them to come over.

The Redditor started to deny their friend and tell them they could not come over. But their friend was hurt, and now the OP is wondering if they were a bit too harsh.

Here's how people reacted.

"Start telling this person NO immediately."

Boundaries are definitley needed here.

"Codependant and inappropriate."

"They're hanging on and possibly using you."

"This person has stepped over the line."

"This person is leaning too much on you."

"Hold firm to your boundaries."

NTA.

"Captain save a hoe."

"It's time to shut this down."

"It's time to be direct."

"They're basically harrassing you and manipulating you into spending time with them."

"They aren't a real friend."

"Where's my hug?"

"You need to set crystal clear boundaries."

"This friendship is very one-sided."

You set boundaries, and they broke them.

"Word it carefully."

"You're right to call them manipulative."

What's your take on this situation? Do you think the OP is being too harsh on their friend, or does their friend need to be more respectful of OP's boundaries and back off?

We would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Stephanie