Man Tackles Extravagant Wife To Start Earning More To Support Her Reckless Spending

“She keeps ruining all my efforts to save any money!”

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• February 12, 2024

When it came to household finances, there was a delicate balance between sensible indulgence and plain-out splurging. Yet, our narrator (Original Poster) found himself strapped into a financial rollercoaster and hanging on for dear life as his wife steered them through one reckless financial decision after another.

For more context, OP earned a pretty tidy sum, about seven times more than his wife. Yet, despite his valiant efforts to make sensible financial decisions, his wife seemed determined to give their bank account a constant workout.

Don’t get it wrong; OP was far from frugal; he made good money and was all up for a good time. The problem was he knew where to draw the line—his wife didn’t.

Her spending escapades included splurging on everything from prestige Pilates classes to fancy fast fashion clothes that seemed to evaporate from her wardrobe after just two wears. She even visited ‘fancy’ hospitals that weren’t covered by their insurance—in what world was this a reasonable expense?

However, despite OP’s wife's penchant for luxuries, the couple's economic ship remained afloat. But it wasn’t right that she was racking up bills worth thrice her salary. 

In a moment of exasperation, OP finally demanded that she work on earning more if she wanted to keep up her spending habits. He also proposed a shake-up in the joint income split that left her with a lower percentage—they had a mortgage to worry about, and it seemed he was the only one doing the worrying.

She hit back with sad tales of her humble upbringing, which tugged at OP’s heartstrings and made him wonder if he was the actual villain here.

Was he wrong for feeling this way? 

The story in detail

A bit of background

According to OP, his wife spends about 3x her salary on extravagant and unnecessary things

OP tried advising his wife to curtail her spending, to no avail

Consequently, OP slammed his wife to improve her earnings if she wants to spend so much

Important edit

“She is spending the household's money, money you brought in. You should strongly consider reorganizing your finances.”

“As a trauma response, Many people who grew up in poverty grow up to become people with no ability to self regulate their spending.”

“NTA. There is a fine line between shared expenses and being taken advantage of, which is what she is doing.”

“If she's not willing to cut back for you, nor for your future, you might want to evaluate what she's bringing to the table for your relationship.”

“NTA. She will financially ruin you if this continues. As someone who grew up poor, it is no excuse.”

“NTA Unfettered levels of spending is a problem, now you are married.”

Redditors unanimously backed OP up. Red flags were waving high and at this point, restructuring finances for equality and transparency was key. 

It was high time OP took charge of the financial reins; as one wise Redditor warned, a shopping spree could wipe out everything. It’s not about being the bad guy; it's about protecting their future together.

Do you agree with this verdict? Let us know in the comments.

Jesse