Young Woman Asks BF To Skip Long Afternoon Naps To Help With Chores, He Says She's 'Crossing Boundary'

"I dont even think that amount of sleep it healthy. "

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• February 15, 2024

Moving in with a partner marks a significant milestone in a relationship, often filled with excitement and, unavoidably, new challenges. Among these, distributing household chores can become a source of contention, revealing differences in lifestyle and priorities that may not have been apparent before.

This story, shared by a 26-year-old woman facing the trials of balancing a demanding life schedule with household responsibilities, brings to light the complexities of cohabitation. Having recently moved in with her 30-year-old boyfriend of three years, she finds herself overwhelmed.

Working outside the home, enduring a daily commute, and attending school part-time. However, she notes a significant increase in her chores since moving in together, despite her already packed schedule.

In search of a solution, she approaches her boyfriend to discuss a fair distribution of household duties, only to hit a wall. He claims to be at his capacity, leaving her feeling unsupported and overburdened.

Adding to her frustration is her boyfriend's unusual sleeping pattern—14-15 hours daily, including a non-negotiable afternoon nap from 4pm to 8pm. She suggests that reducing his nap time could free up some of his day to contribute more at home.

Yet, he sees this as an overstep into his personal boundaries, insisting on the necessity of his lengthy rest periods.

OP and her boyfriend dated for 3 years, just moved in together, but she feels overwhelmed by the extra chores.

OP discussed chore scheduling with her boyfriend, hoping for a compromise, but he insists he's already doing his maximum.

OP has noticed he takes a daily nap, so she suggested he reduce the nap to make more time for chores.

OP thinks excessive sleep isn't healthy, but her partner insists it's necessary and feels it's crossing a boundary to suggest otherwise.

He sleeps more than is recommended, potentially impacting his ability to function and contribute equally to household chores.

He should prioritize seeing a doctor to investigate the cause of his hypersomnia.

Taking a 4-hour nap daily when sleeping at night is unreasonable.

He's using OP as an unpaid housekeeper and won't change.

If he won't help with chores, OP should ask him for compensation for hiring a maid.

OP needs to consider urging him to consult a doctor for his exhaustion; it could stem from either laziness or a medical issue.

If there's no valid reason for too much sleeping and he's just taking advantage, OP should reconsider the living situation.

OP's boyfriend doesn't seem to understand boundaries.

Taking a four-hour nap every day on top of sleeping all night is just too much. He's not pulling his weight with chores, and it doesn't seem like he wants to change.

If he won't pitch in with cleaning and stuff, the girlfriend should consider asking him to pay for a cleaner instead. She should also encourage him to see a doctor about his excessive tiredness, just to make sure it's not something serious.

If he keeps on sleeping too much and not helping out, the girlfriend might need to think about whether she wants to keep living with him. Both people in a relationship need to respect each other's boundaries and share the load of household chores.

Damjan