Dad Warns Brother-In-Law To Back Off After Repeatedly Losing Battle For His Kids’ Affection

This dad is terrified that his brother-in-law could replace him very soon.

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• June 10, 2024

Parenting can be tough, especially when you feel like you’re competing with your own brother-in-law for your kids’ affection. That was the reality for one dad who found himself in an unexpected rivalry for his children’s attention and trust.

Back when our narrator (Original Poster) and his wife’s three kids were younger, their work schedules were chaotic. That’s where the brother-in-law came in—the superhero uncle with a flexible job.

He swooped in to help with school runs and occasional sleepovers, and life was manageable, all thanks to him.

As their work lives settled down, they needed the brother-in-law’s help less and less. However, his presence in the children’s lives remained strong—maybe a little too strong. 

The kids adored their uncle to the point where it felt like OP was being sidelined. Take the time his daughter needed panty liners. Instead of asking her dad, who was right there in the yard, she called her uncle. 

Or how about the moment his son was questioning his sexual identity; the first port of call wasn’t mom or dad, but—you guessed it—dear old Uncle.

The final straw was when his son fell ill at school and called for his uncle instead of his parents. A text from the brother-in-law asking his wife to let the school know he was picking their son up was the match that lit the fuse.

When he dropped their sick child off, OP exploded. He confronted his brother-in-law for overstepping boundaries and told him to back off. 

This led to a fiery disagreement with his wife, who argued they were lucky to have her brother’s help, but OP’s frustration only boiled over. He didn’t want to be the last resort in his children’s lives anymore. Was that too much to ask?

The story in detail

OP and his wife struggled with their tight schedules, which hindered them from being hands-on with their kids. However, BIL stepped in, and in no time, the kids got attached to him.

The level of attachment OP’s children had for their uncle saw them talk to him about personal / private things

OP couldn’t take it anymore and asked BIL to leave his kids alone. This didn’t go down well with his wife, who felt OP was overreacting

We gathered some interesting comments from Netizens:

“Bruh, your kids are not just going to ignore you, now their going to actively HATE YOU.”

OP has been working so hard that he’s missed out on his kids lives. The best solution will be to spend more time with them as much as he can

“Simply banishing him from your family is not going to solve your larger problem.”

“You really think getting rid of BIL will automatically make them close with you? No you’ve actually got to be a good dad yourself.”

“You need to build a close relationship with your kids. That takes work.”

“You need to build a relationship with your kids. They are more attached to him because they feel better with him.”

“You have the nerve to be upset that your children are actually close to him. Where have you been?”

“Your kids spent several of their formative years with their uncle as the primary caregiver by virtue of him being the adult that had the most time available to devote to them.”

Redditors unanimously deemed OP the AH. The balance between gratitude and boundaries is a tightrope, and OP was teetering right in the middle. 

They urged him to strive to be a better dad because eliminating the uncle wouldn't bridge the emotional gap between him and his kids. Only genuine effort and self-improvement will.

Do you agree with this verdict? Let us know in the comments.

Jesse