Is it Wrong for Me to Confront My Irresponsible Brother in Front of Our Parents?

Are you the jerk for confronting your brother in front of your parents? Let's dive into this family drama.

The OP and their brother were once inseparable, but things took a turn when the brother lost his job and started a questionable business venture. The OP loaned him money, which he never repaid, leading to tension.

The brother's reckless behavior and lack of responsibility caused further strain in the family dynamic. The breaking point came when the brother continued to treat the OP like a child, making unreasonable demands.

The OP finally snapped and called out the brother on his selfish and irresponsible behavior. The fallout led to differing opinions from the parents, with the mom feeling the OP was too harsh, while the dad supported their actions.

The Reddit community weighed in, offering advice to cut off financial support and establish boundaries with the brother. Many commenters empathized with the OP's frustration and encouraged them to prioritize their own well-being.

The consensus was clear: the OP was not in the wrong for standing up for themselves and setting boundaries with their brother.

Original Post

My older brother (33M) and I (23F) grew up as literal best friends, despite the age gap. I always felt like we would stick together no matter what.

That changed. First he lost his job, which is fine, stuff happens.

But then, instead of looking for a new job, he started a "small business". I loaned him 1K because he was telling me he was struggling to pay the bills, but that was half a year ago and he's made no inclination to pay me back.

Then, he got in a small accident by reckless driving. I gave him another 500 dollars to help with the costs for that, turns out the mechanic was a friend and helped out for free, but I somehow didn't get my money back.

At that point, I was starting to boil, so I snitched to my dad, who promptly told me to never give him any access to any of my money ever again. Then, my dad broke down and started ranting about my brother.

Apparently, he's not at home at night but constantly out with friends instead of being with his wife. He told me he thinks my brother is irresponsible and immature, but my brother won't listen to my dad.

This especially irritated me because my dad has a chronic illness that inflames when he's stressed. Lastly, what caused me to blow up, was him constantly treating me like I'm the 12 y/o little sister I used to be, and not like the adult with responsibilities I am now.

He constantly sends me on errands, he expects me to go out of my way for him. What got me to blow up is him telling me to sacrifice my day off and go with his wife somewhere.

I told him he could perfectly take her during the weekends, but then he tells me I'm being difficult. I yelled at him that he's a selfish, irresponsible liar.

We got in a bit of a frazzle and after he left my mom told me I was too harsh on him. My dad took my side.

AITA? UPDATE: Thanks guys for all your input!

Let me take the chance to provide some more context: my brother is expecting a child and that's why the pressure has been even higher on my father to try to set his son straight. I completely agree to your guys' advice to let him run his course and face the consequences of his actions.

I'm having a hard time with this, surely understandably, because he's still my brother who once used to be my best friend. I also want to protect their kid, as their auntie, even if that means I have to step in financially sometimes for my SIL.

In the meantime, I do realize my role as an enabler. Going forward, I'm going VLC with him and I've assured my SIL that I'm here to support her and their child if she needs anything.

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