Wife Discovers Husband Uses Calendar Reminders To Prompt Him About Key Events In Her Life, Now She Can’t Look At Him The Same Way

“I just get so lost in my stuff that I forget about hers.”

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• April 27, 2024

It might come as a shocker, but ‘caring’ doesn’t come naturally to everyone. Now, this doesn’t mean they don’t actually care, but remembering to wish you luck in that big work meeting or inquire about your dad’s welfare after his major hip replacement surgery just wasn’t their forte.

Our narrator (Original Poster) believed he was one of those people. When it came to thoughtfulness and keeping track of important events in OP’s life, his wife did that effortlessly. 

It finally dawned on him that he wasn’t reciprocating her level of mindfulness, so he went into full panic mode. OP wasn’t going to mince words—he was pretty self-centered.

The roots of this flaw traced back to childhood when such behavior wasn't corrected. And as the saying goes, old habits die hard. 

He wished he wasn’t this way, but sadly, that was his reality, and hey, at least he was self-aware, right? The first step was admitting he needed a GPS to navigate caring.

The second step? Setting a bunch of reminders prompts him to inquire about important events in his wife’s life. The results were fantastic!

The simple act of creating the reminders even helped him remember events without them a lot of times. Sadly, everything came crashing down when OP’s wife spotted one of his reminders pop in.

The shock on her face was evident, and OP felt—naked. He had no choice but to explain everything to her, and it was clear she found it off-putting.

Was OP the a—hole for relying on his quirky yet effective system?

Let’s dig into the details

Some background on the story

Some years ago, OP started using calendars to set reminders so that he could keep up with events in his wife’s life

OP wife found out about his reminders, so he was forced to explain everything to her

She found it weird and off-putting that OP would need reminders to keep up with important things in her life

We gathered some interesting reactions from the Reddit community:

“NTA - some people are just bad with dates and events. And it’s always recommended that they try to figure out a reminder system.”

NTA. So while she might not like it, the fact is you are making an effort.”

“NAH. A self-centered person wouldn't make those reminders.“

This Redditor’s husband is similar to OP, and she loves him that way

“NTA. Taking the effort to add these occasions to your calendar and set reminders IS showing genuine consideration.”

“NTA. The fact that you were making the effort, I would think she would appreciate.“

Redditors agreed there were no a-holes in this story. They find it sweet that OP put in the effort to make his wife feel valued. 

They advised having an open chat with her about how this approach has enriched their connection. As weird as it may seem to her, this was just OP’s way of showing he truly cared. A solid ‘A’ for effort!

We’d love to get your thoughts. Join the conversation in the comments.

Jesse