30 Dad Jokes That Are Cracking People Up Around The World Because They're So Relatable It's Hilarious

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away. At least it does if you throw it hard enough."

Lakeisha

• Published in Funny
• January 18, 2022

Dads. The epitome of serious weirdness.

You can't escape them, you don't want to escape them, but you can't bear them for too long either. Dads are like the New-Age superheroes who come in the picture when enough is enough.

What were they doing before they come into the picture? Wearing sandals and socks, of course.

You know your hero, but how do you spot his kind? It's simple.

A man wearing Bermuda shorts, a fanny pack, sandals, socks, sunglasses tucked in his hair, a camera around his neck and a map in his hand is most likely a dad in a different city. Dads don't care that Bermudas don't match with sports shoes.

As long as it fits and is comfortable, they're good to go. They're probably the last person you'd want to get fashion advice from, but the first to go to if you need help.

They probably won't know how to stick a band-aid on properly, but will know how to stick someone back in their place without wasting precious time. When you're hurt, they'll remind you of worse situations you've been in just to show you how strong you are and how much pain you can bear.

No matter how old you are, to your dad, you're always a toddler. It's time to show our dads what they mean to us by sharing dad jokes around the world.

For it's the dad jokes that turn a man into a father. No matter how embarrassing dad jokes can be, they're still packed with hidden information, sarcasm, and verbal protein.

Here's to all dads on the planet.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

I wish Covid-19 had started in Las Vegas. Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

He's gonna ask them who came first.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

Oh smart.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up. I guess the two of us aren't going to work out.

When life throws you lemons, squeeze them back into life's eyes.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. At least it does if you throw it hard enough.

ROFL.

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

Smart.

Air used to be free at the gas station, now it's $1.50. You know why?

Inflation.

ROFL. This is one cool fort-dad.

My wife said I was immature. So I told her to get out of my fort.

Didn't see that coming.

Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves. Finally, my high school karate lessons paid off.

ROFL.

I used to run a dating service for chickens. But I was struggling to make hens meet.

You can see me, now you can't situation.

My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down!

Why dad.

I just watched all the Harry Potter movies back to back with a friend. It maybe wasn't the best idea, because it meant I couldn't see the TV.

Copy that.

I invented a new word today: plagiarism!

Epic word play.

Can February march?

No, but April may!

True, dad.

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

ROFL.

A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!

Classic facepalm moment.

Which days are the strongest?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.

Well, you're conditioning yourself.

I tell dad jokes but I have no kids…I'm a faux pa!

This is embarrassing.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

Of course.

Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?

They just seem a little shady!

That's day dreaming, dad.

I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!

Their dessert is out of this world.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere!

Well played, dad.

I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection. She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns!

This joke makes me want to crow.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

Uh. Okay.

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use a honeycomb.

ROFL.

My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex. They're his watch dogs!

Exactly. LOL

Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating?

Because they have no body to go with!

ROFL.

Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That's the punch line.

Hope they packed a lunch.

Why couldn't the astronaut land on the moon?

Because it was full.

D'oh, of course.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there!

True, dad.

If towels could tell jokes, I think they'd have a very dry sense of humor.

In Summary...

Do you think dads don't know that their sense of humor can sometimes invoke the dreaded facepalm? Of course, they do, but they don't stop.

They have a weird way to break the ice! Either way, we love you, dads, everywhere for doing everything you do! Thank you for being you.

Lakeisha