Devoted GF Angers Her Paralyzed BF's Mother After She Decided To Move Across The Country For Her Career

His doctors think he won't recover from the accident that left him semi-comatose and paralyzed two years ago

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• January 29, 2023

It's normal to picture a future together when you are in a relationship. Dreams of marrying each other, taking on adventures, and supporting each other through life are commonplace for couples.

No one anticipates a tragic accident to befall them and significantly alter those life plans, but it could happen. It was a skiing accident that changed the trajectory of this young couple's life.

The boyfriend got into a severe skiing accident when they were 23. His injuries were severe enough to paralyze him from the neck down.

He has been semi-comatose for the past two years and requires around-the-clock care, which his mother provides. They used to live together, but their 5th-floor apartment is not suitable for his medical needs.

He lives in his parent's house, which is 90 minutes away from the apartment where OP lives. Her BF's mother thinks that OP should visit him every day, but given the distance, OP can only manage to see him four to five times a week.

OP fears she can get into a car wreck if she drives that much, with how tired she is. Not to mention that their roads are usually icy and slippery, which adds to the danger.

The biggest problem so far is OP's intention to move across the country for her career. She is earning well enough for their city but could be making almost double if she takes the job she was offered.

OP shared her plans to her BF's mom and she flipped out

OP is empathetic because she knows how unfair it feels that the world is seemingly moving on without him

OP doesn't know what to do. She still loves her BF but she also feels strongly about the job offer.

Is she abandoning him if she took the job? Is his mom right that OP is basically betraying him by moving on with her life?

It's a tough situation all around but OP doesn't have to put her life on hold because her BF is no longer able to

The mother is still obviously grieving and OP moving away means she is moving on without her BF. The mother's reaction is understandable but OP is not at fault for living her life.

If the accident happened at their ski lodge, the mom's grief and guilt are even more warranted

If OP stays and puts her life on a permanent pause, she will eventually resent her BF and his family. If she goes, she becomes the subject of their anger but she gets to start over. It's a simple choice but it's a difficult one to make.

I don't think she was trying to manipulate OP, she was just grieving the unfairness of it all

It would make an awful situation more awful if the accident did occur at their family's ski lodge

It happened at another ski resort

OP symbolizes the future her son can no longer have, her moving away is proof to the mom that her son will never have that chance

OP said she knows how the mom feels and she doesn't blame her at all because she feels the same way. However, her family telling her to move on is adding to OP's conflicted feelings.

A week later, OP gave a short update

OP accepted the job. The fallout was terrible. She was prohibited from seeing her ex-boyfriend by his mom and she permanently cut ties with OP.

Her hatred made OP's move a lot easier. Her therapist and family are telling OP that she seemed lighter. OP can finally continue living her life and she is excited about the future.

OP made the right decision for her. She cannot chasing her dreams because the person she once imagined spending her life with is gone.

The BF's mom is grieving her son and the future he no longer has. OP's choice made her lose whatever sliver of hope she still held onto of her son eventually recovering.

OP and especially the parents of the BF all need therapy to be honest

The guilt will pop up every now and then for OP but she just has to allow it. The feelings will eventually subside as long as she remembers that she didn't do anything wrong.

The mom definitely lashed out at OP, but like what the commenter said, grief manifests differently for people. OP showed incredible strength when she stayed with her BF and his family for two years despite knowing his condition would not improve.

She did a terrific job showing his devotion to him, but it is now time to put herself first. OP has every right to feel excited about her future even though it's not exactly as she imagined it would be.

Chelsi