Father's Journey To Reconnect With Daughter Leads To Some Questionable Actions, Asks Reddit For Advice

" I've finally seen the light and realize my daughter was never the problem"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• January 31, 2024

In life, sometimes our most significant realizations come late, often after causing irreversible harm. This story is about a 65-year-old man's journey of self-discovery and his efforts to mend a broken relationship with his 36-year-old daughter.

The complicated family situation, especially when influenced by a narcissistic partner, can lead to misguided actions and deep regrets. For many years, OP was under the spell of his now ex-wife, who he describes as narcissistic.

He blindly believed her portrayal of their daughter as the problem in their family. This belief led him to take extreme measures against his daughter, including bullying her to comply with the family's demands, a tactic that eventually led to his daughter sending a cease and desist letter through her attorney.

The turning point for him was his recent divorce from his wife. This event opened his eyes to the real source of the family's issues - not his daughter, but his ex-wife.

Filled with remorse and understanding, he now acknowledges his role in the estrangement and desperately wants to make things right with his daughter. However, his daughter has moved away, and he lost contact with her.

In his quest to reconnect, he hired a private investigator and found her living in a neighboring state. He plans to leave a note at her residence through the doorman or concierge, expressing his wish to meet and talk.

He intends to stay in a nearby hotel, hoping for a chance to apologize and rebuild their relationship.

OP was estranged from his 36-year-old daughter due to his ex-wife's manipulation, but he has now realized that his daughter was not the problem.

OP mishandled the estrangement with his daughter by trying to force her back into the family, which he now regrets.

OP used to blame his daughter for problems, but now he realizes it was his narcissistic ex-wife's fault and now he wants to make amends.

He plans to leave a note with the doorman, stay nearby, and try to reconcile with her.

Instead of telling his daughter that everything is her mom's fault, OP needs to take responsibility for his actions as a grown adult.

OP is in the wrong here, he is blaming his daughter and ex-wife for his actions.

OP may face legal action like a restraining order.

It appears OP hasn't changed and is still attempting to intimidate and pressure his daughter.

OP shouldn't stalk his emotionally abused daughter who wants no contact with him, this is the consequence of his actions.

The daughter has decided on no contact, and OP should respect her choice without adding pressure.

OP needs to leave her alone, hiring a private investigator to track her down is inappropriate.

She made it clear she wants nothing to do with OP.

This behavior is highly hostile.

OP needs to admit that he's made mistakes in the past and stop blaming his daughter and ex-wife for everything. He shouldn't try to force his way back into his daughter's life if she's made it clear she doesn't want contact.

Hiring a private investigator to find her without her consent is not okay. It's like invading her privacy.

If his daughter wants nothing to do with him, he should respect her decision and not pressure her. Pushing too hard might even lead to legal trouble, like a restraining order.

In this situation, OP should understand that his daughter needs space and should leave her alone for now.

Damjan