Redditor's MIL Books Big First Family Vacation For Everyone But Him, Saying He Should Stay Home To Take Care Of Their Baby

"Sometimes I feel like second class member of this family in her eyes"

Filip

• Published in Interesting
• August 28, 2023

There is an unwritten rule that there must be some tension between parents and their child-in-law. But, for the sake of good relations, everyone does their best to be as polite as possible.

Or, it should be so. Because, apparently, some parents will find a method to get their way and prove a point. Like in this story.

The OP shared that his wife visited her mother's house to collect something for their son. During the visit, his mother-in-law revealed she had booked a family vacation to a water park/resort.

The OP's father-in-law has been excluded from family vacations for years due to MIL's decisions. However, there was another catch.

MIL didn't think that it would be wise to take along their 5-6-month-old baby. So, she suggested that the OP stay home with the baby for the entire week.

The OP explained that this would be the first vacation experience for their 2-year-old son, and he wouldn't want to miss it. But upon hearing MIL's plan, the OP's wife refused because she didn't want her husband to miss such an important event for their kid, too.

In defense, the MIL noted that during past family vacations, the youngest child was always left at home. The OP's wife pointed out that the youngest child was usually left with their grandparents, not one of the parents.

This comment apparently silenced the mother-in-law. But the OP revealed that he feels hurt and insulted by her plan.

He believes his mother-in-law sees him as a less important part of their family. And he wonders if his feelings of upset are valid.

Here is the OP's problem:

He explained his MIL booked a vacation for the entire family:

But she excluded him, saying he should stay home with their baby:

He feels like a less important part of their family:

"You are totally justified."

His wife is supportive

A huge red flag for the OP's MIL

He is justified for being upset

His wife has a shiny spine

The MIL is intentionally acting to provoke his anger

And another Reddit user agreed

One Redditor joked that the OP is also a babysitter, not just a biological donor

Go on a family vacation alone

Thankfully, his wife got his back

It's evident that the OP is not favored by his MIL. But that still doesn't give her the right to underestimate him.

She should respect him and maintain good relations. And if her last intention was to do something nice for the entire family, she should have included all family members.

Her decision to exclude the OP from a significant family event is not only cruel but also dismissive of his role as a parent. If she was thinking of their baby, she should have talked to them to check their opinion before booking a trip.

The OP is totally justified for being upset. Luckily, his wife supports him and understands how milestones in a child's life are important to both parents.

Filip