Student Says They Would Rather Be In Debt Than Accept The Help Of Their Manipulative Father, A Fact That Embarrassed The Dad During Family Dinner

His "help" came with a lot of unreasonable demands the student wanted nothing to do with

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• April 8, 2022

It's no secret that tuition fees, especially for colleges and universities, are expensive. Students who are not even adults are sometimes forced to take out student loans just to afford higher education.

As a result, these student loans bury these students in debt years after they've already graduated. It's not a great deal at all but for some, this is quite literally their only option if they want to pursue their studies.

A college student shared their situation in a Reddit post but there's a twist to it. OP (original poster) has a dad who was willing to pay for their tuition.

His very generous offer was a poisoned fruit and OP knew it. The dad has conditions if he were to pay for OP's college tuition: OP can't have any grades below B, the dad has to pre-approve any classes OP will take, and weekly meetings to discuss OP's grades among other things.

OP would have taken the offer if their dad was a "regular" dad but theirs is far from "normal." The dad had temper issues and it has affected OP's studies before.

They spent 6th to 12th grade stressed out due to the father's obsession with grades and the fear of getting yelled at if OP can't live up to his expectations. The dad also randomly searched OP's locker and bag just to make sure OP wasn't hiding anything.

Due to this type of history, OP decided to pay for the tuition for two reasons.

First, OP didn't want the added stress of getting screamed at any moment. Second, it's not worth it to constantly worry about whether or not the dad will stop paying for school if he doesn't approve of OP's class or grade which is a likely scenario.

OP said they would rather be in debt than be controlled by their father for four more years. The good news is, OP just finished their 1st year.

Here's where the issue came to head, OP's family recently had a get-together. OP's aunt and uncle who were paying for their child's college tuition fee were there.

OP admits that they can be a bit nosey so naturally, the topic moved to college payments. OP's uncle looked at OP's dad and asked, "Well, how much is OP's school costing you?"

OP quickly replied, "What are you asking him for? I'm the one paying for it." Predictably, OP's dad was angry about this and said OP embarrassed him.

OP said they didn't do it to embarrass him and was simply being honest. On top of that, the dad had no idea how much OP's tuition is so he's obviously the wrong person to ask.

Do you think OP was an a**hole for being honest? Read the original post below for more information:

"I decided to pay for school myself."

"I embarrassed him."

If he was embarrassed by a fact then father dearest have some introspection to do

Couldn't have phrased it any better

Will asking this provide some clarity?

He probably bragged about it but when OP popped the bubble, his ego was badly hurt

Good thing OP put a stop to it early on

The dad will definitely take credit for OP's eventual success

If you have to lie to make yourself look good then you're just an awful person aren't you?

A grown up man asking his child to lie for him to protect his reputation is just laughable

Dealing with the devil is not worth it

He has every reason to be embarrassed

People know that they did nothing wrong but due to being manipulated by the real a**hole for years, their perception is skewed therefore need assurance they did nothing wrong

OP was offered a life raft but chose to float alone because the dad is that messed up

Imagine being the biggest obstacle in your own child's life

Student loans are evil but it's better than dealing with a jerk of a father

Good thing OP has another parent to support them

He would have kept asking for more things if OP agreed to the original deal

OP made the right choice

Was he projecting his own insecurities to OP?

How many toxic behaviors are in this one scenario alone?

Brutal! Let him dig his own grave but what OP did was pretty cool as well.

OP didn't want him to get any credit for OP's hardwork and determination

In another comment, OP said they barely see each other and the dad does sound narcissistic...

... and here's his credo

OP behaved like a boss for putting a stop to the dad's self-serving actions. He wanted to keep up the facade of being the provider for OP but OP broke that when he refused the deal.

Had OP accepted it, the dad would have sunk his claws even deeper and OP would have had a harder time being free from the manipulations. Things can only get better for OP from here on out and the dad can do nothing about it.

Chelsi