Young Woman Emotionally Blackmailed By Parents For Insisting On Moving Out After Years Of Serving As Live-In Nanny To Younger Siblings

When you get ‘parentified’ at 20, the only option left is to fight for your freedom.

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• May 14, 2024

Being the oldest sibling in any family often comes with a mixed bag of pros and cons. However, for one college sophomore, the cons far outweighed the pros.

Our narrator (Original Poster) might as well have added “unofficial nanny” to her LinkedIn profile. It was a role she never auditioned for or wished to play indefinitely, but here she was—with four years of experience in what was starting to look like a babysitter-for-life gig.

She began her mornings by whipping up breakfast for her toddler siblings aged 4 and 2. Next was preschool prep, then keeping the youngest occupied till it was time for her to dash off to classes. 

As for a social life, OP had none—and how could she? Who else was going to be on stand-by while her mom and stepdad sauntered off on date nights or work meetings?

High school graduation came and went, but the apron strings only seemed to tighten. When she dared hint at moving out, whispers of "family duty" hounded her at every corner. Throw a controlling and narcissistic stepdad into the mix, and her frustration only boiled over. 

“Why is this my responsibility?!” OP furiously mused for the umpteenth time after missing yet another spontaneous road trip with friends. Frankly, she’d had enough. 

Thankfully, she’d been diligently squirreling away earnings, plotting her great escape and the time was finally here. As expected, her parents launched a full-scale resistance, but no one could stop her now.

Was OP the bad guy for finally choosing freedom?

Let’s dig into the details

OP is fed up of staying in her parents house as they’ve turned her into a live-in nanny

OP has been saving to leave, but her parents keep guilt-tripping her to stay

OP doesn’t want to be controlled, but she’s in a dilemma on how to break free

We gathered some reactions from the Reddit community:

“You are correct. You did not have these children, their care is not your responsibility.”

“1000% NTA Move out ASAP. You are 20 it's time to start living your OWN life.”

“NTA. Make a plan to leave but don't tell your parents about it. Just execute your plan.”

“I'm curious: how did your mother handle raising you without an older sibling to do the work?”

“NTA. I was already on your side about moving, and am especially so now because of the narcissistic AH who lives in the house.”

“You've been conditioned to feel like you need to take care of these kids. Move out ASAP and take back your life. NTA.“

“Move out or you will be their live in nanny until the youngest graduates high school!”

OP’s tale is one of empowerment, taking charge of one's destiny, and reminding oneself that self-care isn’t selfish.

For Redditors, the verdict was crystal clear—NTA. These weren’t OP's kids, and the burden placed on her was unfair. A bit of occasional help was reasonable, but everyone agreed the current situation was beyond acceptable.

It's about time she claimed her independence and focused on her own own journey without the weight of undue responsibilities.

What do you think about this story? Join the conversation in the comments.

Jesse