15 People Share the Wildest Excuses That Were Actually True

"My neighbors house blew up and the cops wouldn't let anyone leave."

Damjan

• Published in Funny
• March 27, 2020

Excuses are part of our everyday life, nothing special about it. We all use them, and some of them are made up.

The older we get, the better we are in detecting phony justifications, and bored with those that are commonly used. They are so uninventive that it’s obvious they are made up.

But sometimes you can hear a fantastic story that you think is totally taken from a movie or a book, but it turns out to be entirely true.

AskReddit users are sharing the craziest excuses they’ve heard but turned out to be true. Take a look, some of them are pretty unbelievable.

1. He had bigger fish to fry… totally understandable.

“A student emailed me and said he missed the midterm because his car blew up. He sent a picture of him with the burnt car and police in the background and he looked just \*so\* defeated. The email went something like this:

“Dear professor,

I’m sorry for missing the midterm, and thi is going to sound like an excuse , but my car blew up. I’d really love a chance to re-write the midterm. If not….well, sorry again. I had bigger fish to fry”

I let him re-write the midterm lol.”

2. No one wants to lose a team member.

“Was playing an online game and had a party member say “f*ck gotta go, quake!”

Fortunately they were unhurt, because it was the horrendous Christchurch earthquake that IIRC killed dozens.”

3. First thing Monday morning.

“A guy we worked with didn’t turn up one day, we tried calling him and no answer. After a few days me and a coworker went to his house, no answer at the door, his car wasn’t in his driveway. After a couple of weeks we figure he has taken off somewhere and the boss put through his termination papers for not showing up.

About a month after that, the guy rocks up on a Monday morning in uniform ready to work. Turns out he had been in a car accident and was in a coma for weeks. He had no immediate family and no way to let us know.

He ended up getting his job back.”

4. She had two lions in her backyard?

“My friend came to class back in high school with a ripped uniform shirt and told us the lions got it.

As it turns out his mum was a vet for a zoo and had two cubs in her backyard. They saw his shirt flapping on the line and did what cats do: shredded it.”

5. A SWAT sniper took my car.

“A co-worker of mine said he couldn’t come into work because the police wouldn’t let him. Everyone at work called bullshit and then he sent us a picture from his window of a SWAT sniper using his car to monitor another building in his complex. Apparently there was a hostage situation. Everyone ended up being safe!”

6. Peacocks.......they always do that.

“I was late to work once because a peacock was in the middle of the road. Boss didn’t believe me until the next day when the peacock blocked the road when he was coming in.”

7. Bravo is all i can say.

“I’m a high school teacher. ~10 years ago I had a student say he didn’t do the homework because his car caught fire on his ride home, and his textbook was in the back seat. I was suspicious, but he quickly produced the badly charred textbook, which was also completely waterlogged from when the fire department put out the fire, and asked me if I could issue him a new one.

It’s possible that he burned and soaked his textbook in an effort to getting out of doing the homework. If that was the case, bravo.”

8. A perfect storm.

“Someone was running late for something due to a traffic accident, and a road being closed. So they tried an alternate route, and that was closed for a different incident. So they called, said that they’d try another way.

The third route was blocked for something else. They called again, said they gave up and went back home. Checked the news, and they weren’t making any of it up – there was no escape from their neighbourhood for awhile that day, several main roads were shut down for various reasons.”

9. Floaty Unicorn

“A friend told me he was late for tennis because he was stranded on a huge floaty unicorn on Lake Huron.

Turns out him and his girl rode out on the lake and couldn’t get back. He had to call me and the Coast Guard because the unicorn was too big to drag back, for reference it was 60 lbs not inflated or wet.”

10. Swans are dangerous.

“Sorry mate a swan wouldn’t let me out the car”

Turns out it was true as he was on the phone to his mum screaming and she takes great joy telling us this story.”

11. My neighbors run a meth lab.

”My neighbors house blew up and the cops wont let anyone leave."

Was an active meth lab and he couldn’t smell squat, apparently.”

12. A hostage situation.

“Guy never showed up to work, and we couldn’t get hold of him of on the phone.

Turns out he had been trapped inside a bank during a robbery that became a hostage situation. Nobody hurt thankfully.”

13. He got stabbed

“Asking someone I knew to go to the bar and hearing “I cant I got stabbed” turned out to be true. He sent me the video footage from the bar he was stabbed at. Over a game of pool arguing over the rules. The guy waited in bushes until bar close and stabbed him in the back. Cops did get the guy and the victim was okay after the hospital.”

14. A friend gave birth in my car...

“An employee was late to work because she had to scrub down her car after her friend gave birth in it. They were on their way to the hospital and didn’t get there fast enough.”

15. " Do what you gotta do"

“I’m gonna be late, there’s a naked crackhead on my roof. Waiting for police.”

“You can just say you’re running late, dude”

**sends picture message of a naked crackhead on his roof**

“Wow, there is a naked crackhead on your roof. Do what you gotta do, I’ll cover.”

What’s the craziest but true excuse you’ve ever heard?

Damjan