Woman Cancels Family Christmas At Her Home As They Always End Up Miserable Right After, Family Tells Her To Suck It Up

"It's just so much work and such a miserable experience"

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• November 25, 2023

The season is here, and Christmas is upon us! We all know that it is a season of family, enjoyable get-togethers, well-known carols, joy, gifting, and unique customs that unite us.

Christmas also brings back memories of certain sounds, smells, and a sense of home for a lot of us. Family customs bring us closer together, offer our children a sense of belonging, make lifelong memories, give us something to look forward to and have the power to mold our children's personalities.

And while we make an effort to observe other customs throughout the year, Christmas always appears to be a time when we cling more firmly to our customs and the memories they evoke. For the OP, it was always miserable, and that's because they are the host.

There's a lot of mental illness in both sides of our family so we are pretty low contact, but we host because none of the other family members have a big enough house for everyone to fit thanks to the above, and poor financial decisions. We don't even have a huge house, just big enough for us and the kids, but it's still the biggest space available to them.

Because of all the work and misery it leaves them in, OP's husband refuses to host this year. He doesn't even want to go out or visit anyone on Christmas day.

He just wants to have dinner with the OP and their kids, and the OP is very much in agreeance, but it didn't sit well with their parents.

OP writes

They don't even have a huge house, just big enough for them and the kids

Christmas is about family and the OP shouldn't let other people's negative attitudes get in the way

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

I am worried I might be the TA for cancelling the Christmas meal when nobody else in the family has a suitable venue to host.

The Reddit post got hundreds of comments and here are a bunch of them for you to read through below

A joyful day spent only with your loved ones

The OP is tired of feeling resentful and tired

OP's husband will be the one putting his foot down

The OP shares more information in the comments section

We did try a pot luck, that was when the Turkey Incident occurred. They brought turkey, a couple of platters of fruit and cut celery and carrots and things, and we supplied the rest, a lot of people went hungry though because we thought they were bringing more, and I felt bad for not asking exactly what they were bringing.

Locking the doors and holding firm

It's acceptable to want a break

It is now someone else's turn

This is exactly why you're doing this

The OP might want to be out of town though

The level of tension that OP and her husband must feel in the run-up to Christmas is beyond comprehension. Many Redditors told the OP to stop torturing herself in that way as she and her family ought to be enjoying this time and feeling at ease in her own house.

The OP was declared not the AH, and you can share this post with your loved ones to get their own opinions as well.

Maryjane