Parents Get Divorced, Blame It On Adopted Teen Daughter, And Don't Invite Her To Their Second Wedding Because She Could Ruin Their Relationship

"You failed this kid and now you want Reddit to absolve you."

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• May 11, 2024

A husband and wife divorced when their daughter was 14 years old. They later reconnected, remarried, and decided their daughter was at fault for the failure of their first marriage.

The OP kept their post on the r/AmITheA**hole subreddit succinct but left a lot of details out. Redditors asked OP questions to gain a better perspective on the situation.

It was revealed that the couple adopted their daughter when she was six. It didn't sit right with a lot of Redditors how OP laid the ashes of his marriage at the foot of his innocent daughter.

OP said their divorce was caused by irreconcilable differences in parenting and finances, among other things. They co-parented as best as they could despite the tension between them.

When their daughter went to college, the former married couple concluded that their marriage fell apart because of their "insanely manipulative daughter." Their theory was supported when their daughter got into an altercation with another student.

The psychological evaluation revealed their daughter had a Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) and a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). OP and his ex-wife learned about the diagnosis through the parents of their daughter's friend.

OP and his ex-wife continued their amicable relationship until they were convinced their daughter was the biggest cause of their failed marriage. They agreed that they never fell out of love but were manipulated against each other.

OP and his ex-wife decided to give their marriage another try.

They planned an intimate ceremony, just the two of them. Select friends and relatives knew. Their daughter wasn't one of them.

OP said they would have invited their daughter if "she was a normal child." He and his wife feared she would ruin their marriage once more if she knew about it.

Their daughter found out about the wedding and tried to reach out. When she got no response from her parents, she made TikTok videos detailing the situation. The drama reached their extended family.

Too many Redditors write misleading titles to get sympathy. They look like clowns when the story reveals how evil they are.

How long did OP think they could keep their remarriage a secret from their daughter?

Their strategy was to slowly ghost her to prevent her from ruining their perfect marriage. OP and his wife have to stay together. Keep that energy contained.

How far will they reach for someone else to blame when their marriage fails again?

Did OP and his wife even attempt to get help for their adopted daughter when they got worried about her behavior? Did they allow her illness to go untreated because they needed someone to blame?

On top of being a terrible parent and person, he is also an ableist.

They failed their daughter. Instead of facing their shortcomings as parents, they deluded themselves into believing she was the void that sucked the joy out of their lives.

What did they do when their daughter fought another student? Did they shake their heads and feel vindicated?

OP failed to include all relevant information because it didn't fit the picture that they were the victims.

Redditors had plenty to say about OP and his wife, but they would get banned or suspended if they spoke candidly.

Do one decent thing for this girl and never speak to her ever again, OP.

OP was rightfully chased away from the r/AmItheA**hole subreddit after they judged he and his wife were at fault for the situation. As hard as they tried to paint their daughter in a bad light, their horrible parenting choices were too big to cover up.

If OP and his wife want to give their marriage a real shot, they need to face the truth about why their first union failed instead of blaming an innocent kid. Then they need to give their daughter closure before they disappear from her life — it's the least they can do.

Chelsi