Am I Wrong for Expecting Help as a Stay-at-Home Mom?

Are you the jerk for expecting your husband to lend a hand while you're a stay-at-home mom with a baby and a kindergartener? The original poster (29F) shares her frustration with her spouse (29M) who seems to do very little around the house and with the kids.

Despite her husband's long work hours, she feels overwhelmed with the lion's share of housework and childcare duties. The tipping point?

A request for help with their infant son that led to a heated exchange. The post has sparked a heated debate on Reddit, with users weighing in on both sides.

Some empathize with the poster's plight, calling out the husband's lack of involvement and labeling it as unacceptable behavior. Others question why the couple had another child if the husband showed no interest in parenting from the start.

The discussion delves into deeper issues like communication, expectations, and the emotional well-being of both parties involved. The thread unfolds with a mix of support, criticism, and advice for the OP to navigate her challenging situation.

The comments touch on various aspects of the relationship dynamics, past decisions, and potential underlying issues that may be contributing to the current conflict. Ultimately, the debate underscores the importance of communication, shared responsibilities, and mutual respect in a partnership, especially when raising children.

Original Post

My (29F) husband (29M) and I have been together for 12 years, married for nine. We have a five year old daughter who just started kindergarten, and a six month old baby boy.

He works and I stay home with the kids. Frankly, I do everything around the house.

Sure, he takes out the trash. But beyond that, I genuinely do everything.

He works 8:45am to 5:15pm Monday through Friday, and 8-12pm some saturdays. Tonight, he got up to make a bottle for our son.

The only bottle he’s made for him all day. I asked him while he was up if he wanted to wash a couple bottles for me and I would wash the rest later.

His response: “Not particularly.” Then he offers to feed our son. So he takes him into our room and gets in bed to feed him.

Our son’s crib is in our room. He asks me if I will come in and put our son into his crib when he’s done eating because he’s “bad at it.” I tell him no, that’s literally weaponized incompetence and I’m not doing it.

This goes on for a couple minutes with me nicely saying no, and he keeps going. Finally, I say that he’s lazy and needs to just get up and do it, and if our son fusses, I will come get him.

He immediately gets snappy and mean. He says “Well, I have been pouring glasses of wine for you tonight since you didn’t want to get up, so why can’t you do this for me?” He is super hurt that I called him lazy.

Mind you, I put this baby to bed six nights a week, AT LEAST. And he’s been teething so I have been awake with him until 3am every single night, and awake with him again at 6am until he finally goes back down for a while.

Am I the a*****e for expecting my husband to help me with our infant son while he’s home on a weekend and doesn’t have to work the next day?

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What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.