Am I Overreacting for Feeling Left Out of My Twin Brothers London Visit?

Are you ready for a tale of transatlantic sibling drama that unfolded in the heart of London? Our protagonist, a 41-year-old American transplant, found himself caught in the whirlwind of emotions when his twin brother and his wife planned a whirlwind 72-hour visit to the British capital.

Despite extended invitations and eager anticipation to show off his new London life, the excitement turned into disappointment as the brother's plans unfolded. As the days drew closer to the anticipated family reunion, our protagonist was left in the dark about the itinerary.

Efforts to connect and offer hospitality were met with vague responses until a last-minute text revealed pre-made plans excluding him and his partner. Hurt and bewildered, he turned to Reddit to seek judgment in the age-old question - Am I the Jerk in this family saga?

Reddit users rallied around our protagonist, labeling him NTA (Not The A-Hole) and offering words of support and advice. The thread buzzed with commentary on sibling dynamics, hurt feelings, and the delicate balance of familial relationships.

In a city teeming with history and culture, the spotlight shifted to the intricacies of human connections and the sting of feeling left out in a bustling metropolis like London.

Original Post

I (41m) moved to London \~18 mos ago from the U.S. as part of a personal/professional life change.

In Jan of this year (\~8 mos ago), my twin brother reached out to say that he and wife (who live in the U.S.) had tickets to the Coldplay concert for the weekend of Aug 23-24 and that they would be coming for a few days. My brother has never been to London, and so my partner and I have been excited to spend time hanging with them around a city that has become my new hometown (we opted not to go to the concert with them - not our thing).

In the intervening months, I reached out multiple times to my brother and his wife to see what they were interested in doing while visiting, make suggestions and bookings, etc. No real preference either way...

museums, pubs, parks, just casual bopping around the city. It would have been something nice (I thought) to host them at my 'new London house' for dinner in my new neighborhood and for my brother to see where I live and the day-to-day pace of life around here.

Every time I reached out, the response was that they were working on plans but that they would reach out with an update for their short trip (only about 72 hours - arriving Thursday morning and leaving Sunday morning) when they had one. I eventually learned a few months ago that two other couples who live in Europe were coming to London that weekend to join in on the concert.

I'm totally cool with that - the more the merrier! - and was excited to see people whom I haven't seen since my brother and SIL's wedding a few years ago.

All seemed fine this summer when I again reached out in June to offer up advice and make bookings, etc. Again met with the "we'll keep you posted." Fast forward to this past Saturday, 5 days before they all arrive to London, I gingerly reach out to again to check in on what they want to do, offering to host them for dinner at mine one evening.

Finally in response, I get presented with an itinerary via text wherein they've already made two dinner reservations (for the 6 of them only) for the only two nights they are available. Included in the text is the note that "Friday all day open but it’s with our friends exploring London" and that this is basically a quick 72-hour "friends trip" and they don't want to carve off from the group.

Tellingly absent in the message was an invite for my partner and I to be included on the dinner reservations or any other concrete plans to meet up during the 2.5 days they are here. I responded with a text that it sounded like they had a nice visit planned and that I hoped they enjoyed London, with no intention of bolting on to a weekend that I was never included in.

We had a few texts back and forth about how hurtful it was to not be invited to their dinners or included along the way in making plans (I live here ffs); but to my brother, I am simply overreacting and need to "be the bigger person" by just sucking it up and hanging out with them on their terms. \#AITA ?

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How would you handle this situation? Let us know in the comments.