AITA for Refusing to Pay for Fiancés Repossessed Car?

In a recent Reddit post, a 28-year-old man shared his dilemma about his fiancé's car being repossessed and her request for financial help. He was surprised to find out about her skipped car payments, despite offering to help her budget in the past.

The fiancé now faces the challenge of coming up with $5k to retrieve her vehicle. The man, who has bailed her out numerous times before, is conflicted about extending further financial assistance as he's on a strict budget and hasn't been repaid for previous loans.

The Reddit community weighed in with various perspectives. Some advised seeking financial counseling together, while others warned of the potential strain money issues could put on the relationship.

Questions were raised about the fiancé's financial transparency and responsibility, with suggestions to reassess the engagement due to conflicting money values. The consensus leaned towards setting boundaries and ensuring both partners are on the same page financially before moving forward with the relationship.

The discussion delved into the complexities of financial dynamics in relationships and the importance of open communication and shared responsibility. Advice ranged from setting ultimatums to reevaluating the viability of the engagement in light of differing financial approaches.

Ultimately, the thread highlighted the significance of aligning financial goals and values for a successful partnership.

Original Post

So the other night my (28m) fiancé’s (27f) car ended up getting repossessed at my house. I was shocked.

I knew she was very low on money and still had a car loan, but did not know she was skipping payments. She’s distraught and wondering how she’s going to come up with the $5k in order to be able to get her car back.

I had tried sitting down with her plenty of times in the past to discuss a budget with her and wanted to take a look at her debts and income, but she never agreed. She swears her car loan and a few speeding tickets are the only debts she has.

I’ve helped bail her out of plenty of situations in the past and had recently started setting a hardcore budget for myself. I had told myself and her that I wasn’t going to be handing out any more freebies and she needed to be financially independent.

Well now this happened and she’s facing a world of hurt if the car doesn’t get paid off in the next few weeks. I’ve helped her out on thousands of dollars in the past and never was paid back.

She told me she is going to work her butt off since she is able to choose her own schedule and will try to come up with the money. She turned to me though and asked if I could cover the costs if she doesn’t have all of it by the due date.

She told me she would give me the title until she was able to pay me back as an insurance policy, but I explained to her just physically having the title doesn’t mean much and she would have to go through a process to get it transferred to my name. She’s getting upset that I mentioned I do not want to pay any more money for her and telling me I should help her.

I’m reluctant to even hand her $20 because I’m trying to stick to a budget. I don’t have much cash saved up either.

So it’s either help pay whatever remaining cash she needs if she can’t come up with all of it or have her car taken away from her, credit messed up, etc. I’m a very financially independent person and I feel weighed down by picking up her slack all of the time.

I do not want to see her lose her vehicle though, but also I don’t want to risk giving her money and not being paid back again. AITA?

TLDR; My (28m) fiancé (27f) just got her car repossessed and wants me to help pay for part of the $5k to get her car back if she can’t come up with it all. I’m on a strict budget and hardly have any cash myself to be able to afford helping her.

She has not paid me back on previous loans I’ve given her. I told her I don’t want to and she’s very upset.

AITA?

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What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.