Woman Enforces A "Harsh" Rule About Cooking For Her Husband And Brother-In-Law

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Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• November 5, 2022

Marriage is not the most straightforward relationship to navigate because of everything it involves. From finance to In-laws to navigating chores and responsibilities, it can be a lot. 

It can feel even worse when one party feels like they are taking on the sole burden of one aspect of a relationship and start feeling overwhelmed by it. 

Hence, marriage counselors advise that couples try to balance their relationships. They can do this by getting each person to give more of what they have the most — this could be time, money, etc.

However, it’s not always easy to find and maintain this balance. If it were, there wouldn’t be as many divorces as there are worldwide. 

We found a Redditor who has decided that enough is enough. OP shared that her brother-in-law recently moved in with them, with everyone working full-time, except her who has flexible hours.

Interestingly, OP revealed that she was able to come to an agreement with her BIL to pay $100/week for domestic services. As someone who is self-employed, it's easier for her to make out time for laundry, cooking, and cleaning, unlike the others.

The problem is, this arrangement hinges on certain conditions. OP expects her husband and BIL to take responsibility for dirty dishes and properly place their dirty clothes in the hamper. But these conditions have been met with a lot of complaints.

Consequently, OP has decided not to cook if the dishes are dirty and not to do any laundry if their dirty clothes are not placed appropriately. In response, her husband and BIL have put her in the spotlight for being "harsh."

Probably the Reddit community can step in to mediate this family issue.

Let's dig into the details

OP decided to handle the major domestic duties in the house, which involved cooking, cleaning and doing laundry for her husband and BIL

The only requirement is that they do the dishes and keep their dirty laundry in the appropriate place. However, both brothers have been nagging about this rule.

Now, OP has decided to hands-off any domestic duties until her requirements are met.

The post went viral, garnering 2.4k upvotes and over 600 comments. Here's how the Reddit community reacted:

"No* girl this ain’t it. These boys have you acting like their mama."

"I’m sorry but are you their maid?"

"A harsh approach would be to kick them both out. What you are doing is just expecting them to be minimally functional adults."

"You realize they live like teenagers right? They are ungrateful and lazy."

"You shouldn't bother laying anything out. Let them figure it out."

"NTA, and you’re a saint for doing your BIL’s laundry. They, on the other hand, are behaving like spoiled children."

"It honestly sounds as if they are expecting you to do for them as their mother did, when they were toddlers."

"You all work full time, and you should all be contributing equally to chores."

"OP this isn’t a hard approach, but clearly it’s an effective one if they’re complaining about it."

"You should take a week off or 3 days off from them and watch them realize how important you are."

"As long as you explained it to them in a mild tone, no harshness whatsoever."

"NTA you're already doing the bulk of the work, it sounds like they want you to be a full on maid for them."

"You're being too kind. Go on strike - take care of yourself only."

"Stop doing their laundry. Just cook for yourself and do your own dishes afterward."

"You are not their maid! They show no respect of what you do. You need to make a new chore plan."

"They are grown men who need to pick up after themselves and do dishes."

"Why are you the appointed maid, cook and momma for two grown men?"

"Living together again, the brothers are reverting to a teen mentality and have cast you in the role of mom."

The commenters all agree that OP is NTA. They even praised her for her resilience, noting that she contributes significantly to the family.

OP’s husband and BIL, however, did not receive quite the same treatment. Many commenters accused them of acting like children and being ungrateful.

Who do you think is the A$$ole here? OP or the two brothers? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

Jesse