Girlfriend Confused After Comforting Attempt Leads To Accusations Of Ignoring And Patronizing From Boyfriend

"I want to be the best partner I can be"

Filip

• Published in Interesting
• November 26, 2023

When two people spend a lot of time together, they learn about each other and the way they function. It surely has happened to you that a close person completes your sentences and finishes your thoughts or says the same thing you thought.

It's the same with relationships. Partners know each other well enough to know beforehand how the other one will react in a specific situation.

However, partners can't read minds, so if one wants a different approach, they should say it and avoid misunderstanding. That kind of misunderstanding has recently happened to a Reddit user.

The OP explained her partner shared a harsh response about his day at work, so the OP didn't question him further. However, later in the evening, while the OP was cooking dinner, her partner received a call from a coworker.

This conversation revealed an issue at work, potentially leading to her partner's job loss over an insignificant matter. As the OP cooked at the time, she engaged in a discussion about the situation, offering reassurance and optimism towards the end.

Trying to comfort her partner with a hug, the OP was met with a perplexing reaction, prompting her to give her partner space. After serving dinner, the OP noticed her partner's lack of appetite and asked, only to be accused of being patronizing and ignoring his concerns.

Confused, as she had actively discussed the issue, the OP tried to understand her partner's perspective. Her emotional nature led her to burst into tears.

The OP's partner expressed disappointment, feeling unable to communicate without the OP becoming emotional. He criticized the OP for not fully engaging in the conversation and offering practical solutions despite not being asked for them.

This left the OP confused about her perceived neglect. The OP accepts the possibility of missing social cues and wonders if pausing her activities to focus on the conversation would have been better.

OP explains:

OP said she talked with her boyfriend about his concerns while cooking dinner:

She told him not to worry but later noticed her partner was mad at her:

He accused her of ignoring him, which really confused the OP:

After a tense conversation, her partner told her she didn't support him like he wanted:

The OP is still unsure what she should have done differently, so she asked Redditors for advice:

Maybe this:

A Redditor told her, in their opinion, she did nothing wrong

Another Redditor agreed that this approach is excellent

The OP is not a mind reader, he should have told her what he wanted her to do

Seems like he didn't want a solution but to fight to take out his frustration

Another user agreed

"That’s not an appropriate reaction or interaction at all."

After hearing the OP's story, Redditors told her she did nothing wrong. She did what she thought was right at that moment.

If he wanted different comfort or solutions, he should have told her. But, if a similar issue happens again, she could ask him if he needs some advice or just needs to vent.

Filip