Husband Opposes Wife Working In Gay Bar Due To Her Bisexuality, Even Though They Are Both Unemployed And Facing Eviction

"So he doesn’t want me working in a place where a large part of the client base is lesbian and bisexual women."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• October 29, 2023

When we decide where to work, it can sometimes lead to arguments with our partners, especially if they think the place isn't a good fit for us for some reason. Where we work can affect our jobs and our personal lives, and this can make our partners worried or upset.

They might not like the job because they think it's morally questionable, could create problems, or might not be safe for us. OP is in this kind of situation.

She is facing a dilemma regarding a job opportunity at a local gay bar. OP heard about the job through an acquaintance who bartended there and learned that the outgoing bottle girl earns a substantial income from tips while primarily serving Jell-O shots.

However, when OP expressed interest in applying for the position, her husband expressed concerns. He mentioned that he would consider bartending there but didn't want OP to work at the bar due to her being bisexual and the clientele being predominantly lesbian and bisexual women.

He argued that it might result in unwanted attention. OP attempted to explain that it's similar to saying she couldn't work anywhere due to the presence of straight men as a significant part of the clientele.

Her husband responded that if she worked in an environment where men constantly hit on her, she should quit. OP wanted to discuss why he assumed every queer woman in the bar would hit on her, but the conversation ended with frustration.

OP acknowledges that she is a grown woman who can make her own choices but recognizes that her decision could strain their relationship further. Both OP and her husband are currently unemployed and facing potential eviction, making it crucial to consider job opportunities seriously.

OP is seeking advice on how to convince her husband that taking the job at the gay bar wouldn't be detrimental to their relationship.

A local gay bar is looking for a new bottle girl, OP is interested in applying, but her husband is against it.

OP's husband thinks that a big problem is OP's bisexuality, and he's concerned about a mostly lesbian and bisexual clientele, but they are both unemployed and facing potential eviction.

OP values open communication with her partner and want to discuss the job opportunity instead of making a unilateral decision.

OP must focus on her financial independence; it's essential.

OP needs to consider taking the job to avoid homelessness.

If he can't support OP's choices, he can leave.

His accusation of OP being open to cheating is insulting, and it's concerning that he'd risk both of them being homeless due to his pride and insecurity.

Persuading him isn't worth it.

The relationship is strained due to his insecurity.

OP's priority now is keeping a roof over their heads.

OP's husband shouldn't criticize her job choices if he's not contributing financially himself.

It's a regular job, not related to sex work.

It may be advisable for OP to seriously consider taking the job opportunity at the gay bar and to stop trying to convince her husband. Her husband's concerns are rooted in mistrust and jealousy, which can be detrimental to a healthy relationship.

While it's essential to address relationship issues, the immediate priority is to secure their living situation and keep a roof over their heads. OP should reflect on whether this relationship has a viable future, but for now, focusing on its financial stability may be the most pressing concern.

Damjan