Widow Snaps At Her Friend Who Is Getting Divorced After She Repeatedly Tried To Compare Their Loss

"Dealing with a divorce is like watching a relationship die from cancer...she really understands now, we're both single widows."

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• August 28, 2023

A widow was taken aback when her divorced friend began comparing their losses. The OP, on several occasions, tried to ignore her friend's comments.

Her friend initially tapped on the similarities of grieving a relationship. She equated divorce to the death of a relationship.

OP's own loss didn't feel relevant to her friend's current situation. OP lost her husband to cancer three years prior to her friend's marriage ending.

For it to be brought up now when what they went through isn't remotely the same rubbed OP the wrong way. OP was willing to let things go, seeing as her friend was in the midst of a difficult divorce.

Her patience slowly ran out when her husband's death was repeatedly brought into her friend's narrative. OP's friend mused how what she was going through must have been how OP felt when her husband was dying.

She said her dreams of a future with her ex-husband were dead, much like OP's. OP kept mum until a recent get-together with all of their other friends.

Someone asked OP's divorced friend how things were going for her. She replied with her usual script, and OP heard enough.

She was once again roped into the conversation unwillingly. Her own loss was used as her friend's personal yardstick.

She said going through a divorce was akin to watching a relationship die from cancer and then gestured to OP

She lamented how she finally understood what OP feels. She emphasized that they were both single widows now.

OP had enough and told her friend her husband didn't die, he chose to leave. Her friend was shocked by OP's reaction and said she was just trying to relate to OP.

To be fair, you wouldn't think an adult would have to be told that death and divorce are different

Maybe OP hoped her friend would wake up and realize how insensitive she has been behaving

Since OP wants to apologize for how she said it, maybe there is hope for their friendship

OP also shared why her friend's marriage ended

A marriage ending can certainly feel like a loss, but to make a direct comparison with someone's spouse dying is just inconsiderate

It's really odd that she thinks this divorce makes her a widow. Why in the world would she want to be referred to as a widow?

Excuse you, she is now Miss Me, Me, Me

I would have snapped a lot earlier if I were in OP's shoes

The friend is asking for empathy she couldn't even give to OP

The fact that she didn't immediately apologized after hearing what OP had to say is telling. She actually had the gall to feel offended by OP's outburst.

She's never event thought twice about how unfeeling her words are to OP, yet the moment OP retorts, she ends up crying foul

If she is an otherwise good friend, OP can try to have a conversation with her. She shouldn't apologize for what she said, but maybe for her delivery.

OP posted no follow-ups if she talked to her friend. If her friend is a good person, then OP's reaction should shake her up and make her realize how thoughtless she has been to OP's experience.

She didn't need to bring OP's loss into the conversation to illustrate the grief she felt over her own divorce. The death of OP's husband has nothing to do with her friend's marriage, and maybe this friend can be more sensitive towards other people once things settle down.

Chelsi