Husband Gets Into Heated Argument With Wife Over Childbirth Options, Says He Would Never Forgive Her If She Has A Water Birth

“He believes that the more pain you go through, the better your bond with your baby,”

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• February 10, 2022

Having a child is a life-changing experience that demands a lot of forethought. In preparation for the wonder of childbirth, many expectant moms and dads read a great deal on what to anticipate when you're expecting a child. 

Such books provide advice and prepare them for the upcoming milestone of parenthood, a feat that could change their lives for the better. Then again, there are some omissions.

One of them is how a woman should react when her partner vehemently opposes her wishes regarding how she wants to birth her baby.

After discussing childbearing possibilities with her spouse, one lady who was hoping to conceive soon found herself in a tight corner. It was revealed in a post on a parenting forum, Mumsnet, that the woman in question and her husband had a major dispute over her preference for water delivery. 

From what she explained, her husband wasn't ready to shift grounds. He was adamant that he wanted her to give birth the natural way, which says has worked for thousands of years.

In the author's words, "My husband believes that the more pain you go through, the better your bond with your baby. He is very much of the opinion that normal birth on land has worked for thousands of years, so why should I want to do something different." 

The woman was taken aback by her husband's strong views on where and how she should give birth. Thus, she decided to seek advice from the online community. 

Continue reading to find out the rest of the story.

This woman and her husband are at loggerheads over childbirth options for their future child. From the mans point of view, water birth is unacceptable!

The woman is seeking clarification if she was being unreasonable in believing that the manner in which she delivers her child is entirely her decision.

Her husband believes that the more pain you go through during childbirth, the better your bond with your baby.

According to her husband, he would never forgive her if she opts for water birth.

During an interview, Marley Hall, a midwife and author of "Midwife Marley’s Guide For Everyone: Pregnancy, Birth and the 4th" noted that having a baby in water had numerous advantages.

It may help to speed up labor (often because of the positioning of the mother) and relieve tension and pain, she stated.

You are able to move more easily in the water since your body is lighter. In addition, due to the delicate transition into the water, newborns tend to be calmer.

Marley pointed out to research that found that water delivery may lower risk of substantial (3rd and 4th degree) perineal tearing. Studies have also indicated a decrease in meconium (baby's first faeces) in the amniotic fluid of mothers who undergo waterbirths.  It even gets better knowing that the  number of emergency caesarean sections is also reduced.

I have helped around 700 babies into the world and a good portion of these have been via water birth.

Marley Hall believes that the husband's behavior in the Mumsnet article is most likely based on fear and a lack of knowledge on the subject. Marley Hall. According to her;

His assumption that more pain = better bonding is just not true at all.

She further explained that;

His comment about ‘normal birth on land’ working for many years fails to recognize that women are all different, they have different experiences, wants, and needs. Perhaps he has a genuine fear of water birth but if that is the case, I would advise him to do some research on the facts and perhaps listen to some of the stories of couples who have had positive water births.

Marley argued that the person giving birth had the final say on the method of delivery, and that the mother should be given due consideration.

If her partner “has any genuine reasons for concern or fears over the health of the mother or baby giving birth in the water, perhaps visiting some evidence-based sources would help to put his mind at rest.

She continued by stating that;

The husband should also realize that when a woman gives birth in an environment that is ideal for her, she is likely to be calmer, making complications less likely which will also have an impact on the baby.

During a water birth, the mother and baby are monitored closely so if there are any signs of things becoming complicated, the midwife will simply help her out of the water for further support/interventions if needed,” Marley added.

So try to seek out positive water birth stories and do your research.

And if your partner is worried, talk them through together, referring to what the evidence says.

Here's how others in the community reacted to the story:

"Why not include him in the bonding experience and wire him up to a device that demonstrates labor pains."

This user wants the woman to leave the relationship

Do you agree with this?

"He needs to not have children"

"It's not his decision' it's yours"

"He has a lot of growing up to do"

When debating with your partner over the best way to give birth, it is important that you come to a mutual agreement. There are many ways in which partners can disagree on childbearing matters and there's no "right" answer when it comes down to what will work for each couple.

However, if one person feels strongly about their preference of how they would like to have children, then maybe try negotiating different options so you both feel comfortable before coming up with an ultimate decision together.

What do you think about the story? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Jesse