Woman Refuses To Visit Mom For Christmas Because She Won't Host Her Fiance, But Has No Problem Aking Him To Do 2-Month Reconstruction Work On Her House.

OP's mom told her that her fiance can't come with for Christmas.

Senad

• Published in Interesting
• November 20, 2023

Time for a tale that'll resonate with anyone who's had to navigate the tumultuous waters of family dynamics during the holiday season. Today, we're delving into the story of OP (45F), a European resident, and her Christmas conundrum with her mother, a classic covert narcissist.

So, our protagonist has been dancing to the Christmas tune for years, making that transatlantic journey back to the US of A. But this time, there's a twist in the plot. OP, armed with a four-year-strong relationship with her fiancé (47M), decides it's high time her mom and the love of her life meet.

But ah, here's the rub. OP's mom is no ordinary hostess; she's a textbook covert narcissist. Now, for those uninitiated in Narcissism 101, this means dealing with someone who's a master at playing the martyr and victim, with a sprinkle of manipulation and emotional turbulence.

In a surprising turn of events, OP's mom, usually a Christmas fanatic, unleashes WWIII at the mere suggestion of her daughter bringing her fiancé home for the holidays.

Insults are hurled, guilt is laid on thick, and the once-in-a-lifetime family gathering in the Spring? Well, that's off the table, too, replaced by some mysterious substitutes.

Here's where it gets complicated. OP's fiancé, who's unfamiliar with the intricacies of Narc Land, suggests she takes one for the team. Go home, assess the situation, play family mediator, and maybe, just maybe, bring some holiday cheer into the covert narcissist's lair.

But, and it's a big but, OP is torn. She doesn't want to leave her fiancé solo during the holidays. After all, he's her family, and darn it, he deserves the full-fledged, warm Christmas welcome. The kind where you're not just tolerated but genuinely embraced.

And then, there's the exhaustion. The fatigue from years of dancing around the emotional landmines set by a narcissistic mom. OP is done with the mind games, the emotional rollercoaster, and the empty threats. She's at the end of her rope, and who can blame her?

OP lives in Europe but she usually goes back home for Christmas

OP's mom has never met her fiance who she's been with for 4 years

OP's mom asked her and her fiance to stay with her for two months while doing some repairs around the house

OP asked her mom to bring her fiance when she visits for Christmas, but the mom didn't approve

The mom uninvited OP and told her that they wouldn't be needed in the spring

OP's fiance thinks that she should still visit her mom for Christmas

OP is now wondering if it would be wrong for her to not visit her mom at all

Narc parents

It's a trap, OP!

Enabling her behavior

Hold a united front

Start your own Christmas traditions

So, the big question: Would OP be in the wrong if she refuses to board the Christmas plane and endure the holiday havoc with her covert narcissist mom? It's a moral maze, a familial puzzle, and we're all holding our breath for the resolution.

The people of Reddit agree that OP should stand her ground and stay home for Christmas. They believe that the mom is just trying to separate the couple, and they need to stay united.

Senad