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OP's mom told her that her fiance can't come with for Christmas.
Time for a tale that'll resonate with anyone who's had to navigate the tumultuous waters of family dynamics during the holiday season. Today, we're delving into the story of OP (45F), a European resident, and her Christmas conundrum with her mother, a classic covert narcissist.
So, our protagonist has been dancing to the Christmas tune for years, making that transatlantic journey back to the US of A. But this time, there's a twist in the plot. OP, armed with a four-year-strong relationship with her fiancé (47M), decides it's high time her mom and the love of her life meet.
But ah, here's the rub. OP's mom is no ordinary hostess; she's a textbook covert narcissist. Now, for those uninitiated in Narcissism 101, this means dealing with someone who's a master at playing the martyr and victim, with a sprinkle of manipulation and emotional turbulence.
In a surprising turn of events, OP's mom, usually a Christmas fanatic, unleashes WWIII at the mere suggestion of her daughter bringing her fiancé home for the holidays.
Insults are hurled, guilt is laid on thick, and the once-in-a-lifetime family gathering in the Spring? Well, that's off the table, too, replaced by some mysterious substitutes.
Here's where it gets complicated. OP's fiancé, who's unfamiliar with the intricacies of Narc Land, suggests she takes one for the team. Go home, assess the situation, play family mediator, and maybe, just maybe, bring some holiday cheer into the covert narcissist's lair.
But, and it's a big but, OP is torn. She doesn't want to leave her fiancé solo during the holidays. After all, he's her family, and darn it, he deserves the full-fledged, warm Christmas welcome. The kind where you're not just tolerated but genuinely embraced.
And then, there's the exhaustion. The fatigue from years of dancing around the emotional landmines set by a narcissistic mom. OP is done with the mind games, the emotional rollercoaster, and the empty threats. She's at the end of her rope, and who can blame her?
So, the big question: Would OP be in the wrong if she refuses to board the Christmas plane and endure the holiday havoc with her covert narcissist mom? It's a moral maze, a familial puzzle, and we're all holding our breath for the resolution.
The people of Reddit agree that OP should stand her ground and stay home for Christmas. They believe that the mom is just trying to separate the couple, and they need to stay united.