Young Woman Faces Family Criticism For Choosing Pre-Planned Vacation Over Attending Estranged Relative's Funeral

"Everything was booked and paid for"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• July 22, 2023

Family. It's the compass that guides us, the foundation that gives us strength, and the support system we rely on in difficult times.

It's that unwavering bond that we assume will remain intact no matter what life throws our way. But when that bond disappoints us, when it fails to provide the solace we seek, it can cause a profound rift that often feels irreparable.

And this is the crossroads our protagonist, OP, found herself at. OP’s story centers around her decision to go on vacation instead of attending her Uncle Harry's funeral.

After her father passed away, she felt a significant lack of support from her extended family, who were absent during her time of need. This led to a strained relationship.

When she found out about Uncle Harry's death, she was already committed to a vacation with her boyfriend. Given the distant relationship she had with her relatives, OP sent a condolence card but did not attend the funeral.

Upon her return, she discovered her family was upset with her choice, especially after seeing her vacation photos online. Yet, OP believes her actions were justifiable given the lack of closeness with her family.

She now seeks an answer to her question: was she in the wrong?

OP asks:

After her father passed away, she felt a significant lack of support from her extended family, who were absent during her time of need. This led to a strained relationship.

OP is not angry, but this event made her aware of the family dynamics

He uncle Harry had cancer and died. The funeral was held while OP was vacationing

Upon coming back, she learned that the family was not happy with her choice

Upon her return, she found out through her cousin that her absence at the funeral had not been well-received by the family, particularly after seeing her vacation photos on social media. OP, however, felt that the lack of communication and support from her relatives over the years showed a lack of value for their relationship and that sending a condolence card was sufficient under the circumstances.

So, is OP in the wrong for her actions? This is the question that plagues her, a question that she seeks answers to.

OP didn’t do anything to be spiteful

OP responded:

This door should work both ways

This is a great thought:

They don't sound like much of a family

Funerals are for the living

This Redditor says:

And it is the right way of thinking...

Based on the circumstances presented, it appears that OP was completely justified in her decision. The key essence of a familial relationship, or any relationship for that matter, is mutual respect and support.

When OP needed her family the most, they were notably absent. The critique of her father's low-budget funeral and the apparent apathy towards her and her mother's well-being shows a significant lack of empathy and support.

Attending a funeral is a personal choice and should be respected as such. OP was within her rights to prioritize her pre-planned vacation, especially considering the strained relationships.

The family's reaction appears to be more of a response to social appearances rather than a genuine concern for OP's presence.

Damjan