Woman Is Upset Because She Was Not Invited To Her Brother’s Wedding, Despite Paying For The Whole Wedding

Planning a wedding isn’t an easy task as it involves the battle of deciding so many things but what happens when you don't involve the person who is handling the wedding bills?

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• January 24, 2022

Planning a wedding isn’t an easy task as it involves the battle of deciding who gets invited, who will be a groomsman or a bridesmaid, who is only there for the ceremony, and so forth. One redditor shared how she took on a tremendous part in making her sibling's wedding a reality but was not actually involved with it, which was disturbing.

Certain kinds of family drama that come with planning a wedding never help things. The Redditor named u/Downtown-Bowler-8987 told her story to the r/AmITheA-Hole community, inquiring as to whether she was wrong to feel upset for not being involved in her brother’s wedding, despite being the person paying for it.

According to the story, the OP is a former military officer who is now a wealthy pilot, earning around £150,000 per year. She was raised along with her younger brother and was thought to share and help each other out.

Her brother earns around £35,000 yearly and, since they have no parents, the OP feels like she should assist, as she has assisted on many occasions previously and wouldn't mind doing it once more.

But, this time around, her brother requested monetary assistance, and she promised £25,000, but she felt upset for not being involved with any of the decisions. The sister-in-law's family were heavily involved with everything while she wasn't so much as a bridesmaid, nor a maid of honor, but just a guest.

A lady has shared a story of how she wasn't involved in decisions despite being the one paying

Now, she felt like an ATM. and when she confronted her brother about it, he said that she's not their parents and since she can't replace them, she shouldn’t be involved. Here is the story in full:

The story begins...

A good job

Through the years...

Contribution time

Bearing the costs

Being involved in the decisions

AITA?

Further information

Breaking it down

The OP explained more in details about the whole story saying that she felt like an ATM to them.

Related

Having fertility problems

Me and my brother are close

The engagement party

Not showing up

My husband is supportive

I deserve some recognition

Individuals continued to ask more questions after the post ended, which prompted a few updates.

Op likewise added that it's anything but a one-sided relationship as her brother was always there for her emotionally and they are close.

The post was moderately short, but it immediately got a few more updates as individuals began asking questions

Time to talk with the couple

Traditionally...

My SIL reply...

Not asking for much

The discussion with the SIL went nowhere, and everything went south when the OP got a call from the SIL's mom, requesting that she chip in on their honey moon. She snapped and said she was paying for the whole wedding despite not being involved, which the mother had no idea about.

Furthermore, after speaking with her sibling, she was reassured that her efforts were valued, but neither the SIL nor her family truly understood the extent to which the OP helped. The post got almost 17,000 upvotes and 2.5K comments, along with more than 50 Reddit awards.

The conversation is leading nowhere

Then, the ice got broken

She definitely lost it...

Let's be clear here

The default assumption

Eventually, the two agreed that OP would simply go as a guest, but she would halt her financial aid but still help with certain things. They’ll still see each other, but this move was best for everybody.

Individuals online came to the conclusion that the OP isn't the problem here because she was very supportive.

Bank of sister is paying

Smoothing things over

Attending as a guest

It's over to you now

Just going to be a sister now...

The pressure and obligations

So many things are involved in planning a wedding and arrangements need to be made, such as settling on gifts, venues, dishes, and a lot of different things. And remember that this must be a collaboration, as there are two individuals involved here.

Now you realize how complicated it can quickly become when you’re not involved in the decisions but are expected to pay.

More Info: Reddit

Maryjane